When your teen comes to you with a problem—whether it's a bad grade, friend drama, or a missed opportunity—your instinct might be to help by offering a solution.

If you’re parenting a teen, chances are you’ve had moments where you questioned everything.

You snapped during a stressful moment. You brushed off something that clearly mattered to your teen. You said the “wrong” thing, even though your intentions were good.

You’re sitting across from your teen. They’re angry. Maybe they’ve slammed a door. Maybe they’re crying and telling you they feel alone. Or maybe they’ve gone quiet and withdrawn, refusing to say what’s wrong.

Summer is supposed to be a break—but for a lot of families, it becomes a season of stress. When your teen is struggling with big emotions, impulsive behaviors, or frequent outbursts, the downtime can feel anything but relaxing.

We all hit moments that feel like too much. For teens, those moments often come fast and loud—sudden overwhelm, big emotions, and the urge to do something to get relief. Sometimes that “something” makes things worse: snapping at a friend, shutting down completely, picking a fight, or engaging in self-harm.

If you’re raising a teen who’s been told to “just use your coping skills” but still melts down, shuts down, or lashes out when emotions run high, you’re not alone.

Most teens know about coping skills. That doesn’t mean they know how to use them.

Ever rehearse a conversation in your head 10 times—then still stay silent?

You wanted to say no to something, or ask for space, or share how you were feeling. But the thoughts started rushing in:
“What if they get mad?”
“What if I’m being too much?”
“What if they think I’m selfish or dramatic?”