As a parent, when your teen has a history of self-harm or suicidal ideation, it’s natural to feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells. Every decision—leaving them home alone, setting boundaries, or addressing difficult behaviors—can feel like a potential trigger, and that fear can be all-consuming. But here’s the truth: navigating these challenges isn’t just about what your teen does. It’s about how you respond.

When teens are encouraged to cope with mental health issues, they’re often bombarded with terms like “fight,” “push through,” and “overcome.” These words, while well-meaning, can create a sense that mental health challenges must be defeated, rather than understood. For parents of teenagers with mental health concerns, a different approach can be incredibly valuable—a way of embracing mental health as part of their teen’s experience rather than something to battle against.

In any relationship, balance is key. We want our teens to experience both the joy of connecting with others and the confidence of staying true to themselves. Relationships are a two-way street, and a healthy connection requires both giving and receiving in a way that feels good to everyone involved.

Emotion regulation is a crucial life skill, and as a parent, you play a vital role in helping your teen develop it. One effective way to teach this skill is through DBT’s “What” skills—Observe, Describe, and Participate. These skills teach teens how to engage with their emotions and experiences mindfully, helping them stay grounded and make thoughtful choices even in difficult moments.