For many adolescents, social situations can trigger intense anxiety. Some experience racing thoughts, struggle to keep them internal, and begin to verbalize every worry aloud. In some cases, these internal storms become so overwhelming that teens turn to self-harm as a way to release emotional pain. While alarming for caregivers and professionals alike, these behaviors are often signals—clear indicators that the teen’s nervous system is overstimulated and struggling to regulate.

You’re sitting across from your teen. They’re angry. Maybe they’ve slammed a door. Maybe they’re crying and telling you they feel alone. Or maybe they’ve gone quiet and withdrawn, refusing to say what’s wrong.

If you’re raising a teen who’s been told to “just use your coping skills” but still melts down, shuts down, or lashes out when emotions run high, you’re not alone.

Most teens know about coping skills. That doesn’t mean they know how to use them.

Ever asked your teen how they’re feeling only to get a shrug or an eye roll in return?

You’re not alone. Teens often act like they don’t care, but under the surface, big emotions are flooding their system. They just don’t have the tools to process them. And when they don’t have the words or the regulation strategies to deal with all that intensity, they shut down, blow up, or tune out.

Your teen sends an angry text, then regrets it. They lash out in arguments, shutting down when they feel overwhelmed.

Have you ever heard your teen say, “I shouldn’t feel this way,” or, “If I feel it, it’ll never stop”? These thoughts can leave them feeling stuck, frustrated, or even ashamed of their emotions. Teens often develop beliefs about emotions based on their environment, culture, or personal experiences, and these beliefs can shape how they handle life’s challenges.

Ever wonder why your teen’s emotions seem to come out of nowhere? One moment they’re fine, and the next, they’re slamming doors or crying in their room. It’s frustrating, exhausting, and often confusing for parents. The truth is, teens experience emotions intensely because their brains are still developing. But the real challenge? They often don’t understand why they feel the way they do.

Does your teen ever spiral into a meltdown over something that might not even be true? Perhaps they didn’t get a quick reply to a text and immediately assumed their friend is mad at them, or they scored poorly on one quiz and decided they’re failing school. These thought patterns are incredibly common among teens, and they can lead to unnecessary anxiety, conflict, and emotional overwhelm.