For many adolescents, social situations can trigger intense anxiety. Some experience racing thoughts, struggle to keep them internal, and begin to verbalize every worry aloud. In some cases, these internal storms become so overwhelming that teens turn to self-harm as a way to release emotional pain. While alarming for caregivers and professionals alike, these behaviors are often signals—clear indicators that the teen’s nervous system is overstimulated and struggling to regulate.

You’re sitting across from your teen. They’re angry. Maybe they’ve slammed a door. Maybe they’re crying and telling you they feel alone. Or maybe they’ve gone quiet and withdrawn, refusing to say what’s wrong.

Summer is supposed to be a break—but for a lot of families, it becomes a season of stress. When your teen is struggling with big emotions, impulsive behaviors, or frequent outbursts, the downtime can feel anything but relaxing.

We all hit moments that feel like too much. For teens, those moments often come fast and loud—sudden overwhelm, big emotions, and the urge to do something to get relief. Sometimes that “something” makes things worse: snapping at a friend, shutting down completely, picking a fight, or engaging in self-harm.

If you’re raising a teen who’s been told to “just use your coping skills” but still melts down, shuts down, or lashes out when emotions run high, you’re not alone.

Most teens know about coping skills. That doesn’t mean they know how to use them.

Ever rehearse a conversation in your head 10 times—then still stay silent?

You wanted to say no to something, or ask for space, or share how you were feeling. But the thoughts started rushing in:
“What if they get mad?”
“What if I’m being too much?”
“What if they think I’m selfish or dramatic?”

You know that moment when a conversation with your teen suddenly shifts—when what started as a question turns into a fight?

Maybe you asked them to put their phone away. Or said no to a sleepover. And then boom—they're rolling their eyes, raising their voice, accusing you of being unfair. You respond with a stern tone, maybe a “Don’t talk to me like that,” and before you know it, you’re both shut down or shouting.