Wise Mind is the balanced, centered state where logic and emotion intersect. It’s that inner knowing we tap into when we’re making decisions that align with our true selves—decisions that honor both our rational thoughts and our emotional experiences. For teenagers, who are often swayed by intense emotions or rigid logic, cultivating Wise Mind can be particularly valuable.
In our DBT skills groups this week, we're focusing on mindfulness of current thoughts. This skill involves allowing thoughts to come and go without attaching meaning or judgment to them. Think of your thoughts as being on a conveyor belt or a leaf floating down a stream. The key is to observe your thoughts without attaching to them or trying to suppress them. Here's how you can practice and support your teen in this skill.
Crisis survival skills are a collection of techniques, often summarized in acronyms, that teach individuals how to cope with intense emotions and urges without making the situation worse. These skills are essential for anyone, but particularly beneficial for teens with self-destructive behaviors such as self-harm, substance abuse, or disruptive actions that harm relationships.
The concept of mindfulness may initially seem abstract for both parents and teenagers. Therefore, effective implementation of DBT starts with a clear understanding and adopting suitable strategies to teach and practice mindfulness with teens.
Mindfulness is a method of staying fully present and engaged in the moment. It's about observing and accepting your experience, thoughts, and feelings without judgment or reaction. The fundamental idea is to shift your focus from being “lost in thought” to being mindful of the present moment. This approach can help teens deal with emotions more effectively by allowing them to recognize and accept their feelings rather than suppressing those feelings or letting them become overwhelming.
Make It Relevant: Introduce mindfulness in a way that resonates. Encourage teens to be aware of their thoughts, body sensations, and feelings without judgment. Instead of forcing it as a necessity, explain it as a helpful tool they can use to handle their emotions more effectively.
Start Small: Begin with short, easy mindfulness exercises and gradually expand the duration and complexity. Jumping into lengthy practices may overwhelm and thus discourage the teen.
Be a Role Model: Show that mindfulness is an important part of your own life. Your teen is far more likely to embrace mindfulness if they see you practicing and benefiting from it.
Simple Breathing Exercises: Teach your teen to focus on the sensation of inhaling and exhaling. Your teen can do this anywhere and anytime things feel overwhelming.
Mindful Listening: Encourage your teen to listen to a piece of music with full attention, noticing each instrument and lyric.
Mindful Walking: Advise your teen to take walks and pay full attention to the feelings in their body as they move.
Remember, teaching mindfulness is not about eliminating emotions. It's about helping teens understand and respond to their emotions in healthier ways.
Establish a calm and quiet space in the house where your teen can practice mindfulness. Encourage other family members to respect this space as a “quiet zone.” Be patient and offer positive reinforcement, but avoid forcing the practice on your teen.
Consistency is critical in mindfulness practice. Encourage daily mindfulness exercises, even if it's just for a few minutes. Offer gentle reminders and consider integrating mindfulness into the family routine to make it a habit.
Consider encouraging your teenager to express their emotions through creative activities. Art, in its many forms, can provide a therapeutic outlet for emotions and foster mindfulness. Drawing, painting, sculpting, or even activities like journaling and writing poetry can help teens focus their attention and keep themselves present in the moment.
Digital distractions often overwhelm teens. Thus, teaching them to use technology mindfully can be an effective way to practice mindfulness. This could involve having specific times during the day without electronic devices, encouraging them to focus on one online activity at a time, or using apps that promote mindfulness and relaxation.
As a parent, you can do wonders by guiding your teen to incorporate DBT and mindfulness of emotions into their daily routine. It can help them navigate the turbulent teenage years and equip them with valuable skills to handle stress and big emotions throughout life.
Remember—the goal isn't to eliminate emotions but to understand and manage them better. Keep encouraging them in their mindfulness journey, and it will amaze you how this method of engaging with one's emotions can bring about significant improvements in your teen’s mental health and overall well-being. By embracing and promoting mindfulness, you're offering your teen a lifelong gift—the ability to manage their emotions, stress, and life's ups and downs in a healthier and more meaningful way.
Explore how to navigate the pressure of a critical mid-term exam using the DBT Coping Ahead skill. This guide provides a step-by-step approach to identifying emotional triggers, selecting effective coping strategies, and visualizing success to manage exam anxiety effectively. Learn how anticipatory coping can improve performance by reducing overwhelming emotions and fostering resilience
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