Think Your Teen Will Never Be Happy? You May Be Right!
5 Steps to Emotional Balance
3 Steps to College Success (Even when you have senioritis)
3 Phrases to Build a Positive Mindset + Boost Self-Esteem in Your Teen
It's human to give more attention to pain and difficulty than to positive experiences.
Your teen likely has neutral or positive interactions and experiences in the majority of their day, but if one person gave them a "look" or said something critical, it becomes the ONLY thing they can focus on for the rest of the day.
3 Steps to Managing Teen Anxiety without Meltdowns or Overwhelm (for you or your teen)
ANXIETY FEELS LIKE....
- That critical voice that's always nagging you in the back of your mind
- That weight on your chest that makes it hard for you to breathe
- That belief that others don't like you, don't want you around or secretly hate you
- That urge to run away, hide in the corner, avoid eye contact or to stay super duper still and hope that others don't notice you
- That fear that something horrible is about to happen, whether it's failure, loss, danger, rejection or embarrassment
- That shaking, sweating, crying sick feeling
- That thought that cycles through your mind again and again with no end in sight
Anxiety can be a bit of a bully and when your anxious teen is faced with discomfort or difficulty, the natural tendency is often to avoid.
They may want to run away, avoid or procrastinate... because let's face it: Facing your fears is hard work!
In DBT we teach a skill called Opposite Action to help teens learn HEALTHY ways to manage difficulties without making the situation worse.
This means that...
...one day of homework doesn't pile up into a week's worth of overwhelm.
...one bad interaction with friends doesn't lead to arguments and isolation that trigger depression and safety concerns.
...one critical sentence from a parent doesn't lead to big blow ups and days of not speaking to each other.
It's about acknowledging how you feel in the moment, taking a breath and step back and making a CHOICE to effectively manage the situation.
When we're talking anxiety, the following suggestions are helpful when your anxiety or fear is not justified by a legitimately dangerous situation:
STEP ONE
Stop avoiding and reassuring. Approach what makes you anxious by being brave AND afraid. Do it over and over and over again.
It's going to feel uncomfortable. Expect it. And do it anyway. It's the only way.
STEP TWO
Approach events, places, tasks, activities and people that make you nervous. Take it one step at a time and expose yourself to these difficulties while taking note of how it impacts your thoughts, your emotions and your body sensations.
Make a list of the experiences that make you nervous and place them in an order from least scary to most. Start at the bottom and work your way up.
STEP THREE
Do something every day that gives you a sense of control and mastery over your fear. No matter how small it seems, find a way to feel empowered. Engage in activities that make you feel confident. Tell yourself you can do it.
^^ This is all SUPER hard and can often feel overwhelming or make you feel paralyzed without a professional to walk you through it and support the process each step of the way.
If your teen needs help going from anxious and overwhelmed to confident and coping with ease, we've got you covered. Reach out to us for a complimentary parent call to get clarity on the next best steps here: http://creativehealingphilly.com/free-parent-call
A Resource for your Procrastinating Teen
How to help your teen overcome procrastination...
One of the most frustrating concepts we hear from parents for their teens is completing work that seems overwhelming, attending to chores when they have an "I'll do it later" attitude.
Just ONE more episode of Netflix, they say.
Just ONE more scroll of the Insta feed, they say.
Just ONE more snap to friends, they say.
But it never ends at one and then the work never gets done.
Which leads to MORE stress and overwhelm as the workload piles up and then your teen asks to go in late to school (or avoid it altogether) since they haven't completed the work they stayed up until after midnight trying to complete. >> Then skipping class stresses them out MORE because they're missing more work.
It's an endless cycle. And we have an end.
When teens don't learn the tools to manage procrastination in high school, they take these poor habits into college and beyond and life becomes an overwhelming collection of tasks that makes you feel like you're constantly at the bottom of a hole trying to climb your way upward.
This comes with physical illness, emotional distress, snapping at friends and family when you're on overload and more.
And that's no way to live.
What can you do?
* Learn the REAL reasons you procrastinate (What's behind it all and what's at the root of it?) Here's a hint... a lot of times it's connected to perfectionism and self-worth.
* Create structure and routine so that you can learn how to organize and use your time more effectively and prioritize the tasks that need to get done NOW.
* Develop a world-class support and accountability team of family, friends and professionals to keep you on track. We're all counting on you FOR you until you learn the skills to be self-sufficient in meeting your expectations.
Our goal for your teen...
+ Get organized
+ Stay focused
+ Reduce stress
+ Feel GOOD about yourself and your accomplishments
Check out this great resource on overcoming procrastination for teen:
Click the image for more information
If your teen needs more than a book to get going, we're here...
If your teen needs support in breaking free of procrastination and beginning to meet life's challenges effectively so that they can be fully prepared for college and beyond, we've got you covered.
Complete an application form to speak to one of our counselors about the next best steps to support your teen:
www.creativehealingphilly.com/free-parent-call
7 Reasons Depression is Like the Common Cold
In our sessions at the teen support center, we often will use metaphor to talk about depression because when we can put a mental illness in physical terms, it helps teens to look at their situation in a whole new way and helps them to take action and effectively change their behaviors and routines so that they positively impact their mood at its core (and not just mask the symptoms.)
Here are our 7 Reasons Depression is Like the Common Cold:
Some days it’s just a nagging tickle in your throat and a stuffy nose and life can proceed as usual -- even though it’s always there as a dull reminder.
Some days your head hurts so badly and your nose is so clogged that moving or getting out of bed feels next to impossible. You feel like bed is the only option and that you “just can’t do life” today.
Sleeping all day helps you to cope with it but it’s still totally there when you wake up.
You can laugh with your friends and still have a cold. The awesomeness of friends does not negate the suckiness of a cold.
You try not to complain about it to others, especially when you’re up and completing daily tasks because you don’t want people to judge you, tell you it’s not that bad, relate to you by telling you about their most recent sniffles, or worse… tell you it’s mind over matter and you’ll get through it.
You’d love to be tucked in by a loved one, brought chicken soup and nurtured but you don’t want to feel like a burden on others.
Cold medications may work to mask some of the symptoms, but they don’t make it go away and you hate that you have a cold. You wonder how you got it, why you have it and when it will go away… and in the deepest midst of it, it’s hard to imagine that you’ll ever feel any other way again.
Just like with any physical illness, when you don’t acknowledge and effectively treat the problem, it tends to get worse. Or at the very least, it sticks around a LOT longer than is comfortable or helpful.
And, what starts as a dull sadness or a tearful night or two over homework can quickly lead to overwhelm, hopelessness, loss of motivation or isolation. When an emotion isn’t validated by parents, the behaviors that come with that emotion will escalate until your teen feels heard and understood.
Having a safe space to explore, express, communicate and cope with emotions BEFORE they become overwhelm is an effective way to manage a “cold” and not just treat or dull the symptoms.
What’s more, when you can communicate to your teen that you truly understand how they feel (either by validating them with your words and with listening wholeheartedly or by connecting them with a therapist for more support) it allows your teen to FEEL understood by you and opens up communication and an opportunity for a closer bond with them.
If you have a teen who is experiencing:
A low mood, feeling “blah” or numb and lacks enjoyment in everyday activities
Feelings of worthlessness or hopelesssness
Isolation or withdraw from friends
Fatigue, exhaustiion, difficulty getting out of bed or getting motivated
Thoughst or urges to harm themselves
We currently have appointments available for depressed teens who want to learn how to...
- Actually implement effective skills to manage their mood on a day-to-day basis
- Understand and “catch” how they feel in any given moment so that they can make positive choices in how to respond, rather than acting impulsively or destructively and making the situation worse
- Learn how to handle overwhelm in healthy ways now so that stress-masking habits don’t become a way of life
- Learn how to appropriately ask for support and not use manipulation tactics or fall apart so that others take care of them
But, these appointments are certainly not for everyone :)
Your teen MUST:
- Be open and excited about working with a counselor who will “get” them and who will help them understand that they are not alone
- Be willing to learn new skills to help them manage their mood
- Be ready to let go of the excuses and negative thinking that have been keeping them stuck
If this sounds like your teen, I’d love to personally connect.
Click here to complete an application form and I’ll reach out soon to explore the next best steps.