Ever asked your teen how they’re feeling only to get a shrug or an eye roll in return?
You’re not alone. Teens often act like they don’t care, but under the surface, big emotions are flooding their system. They just don’t have the tools to process them. And when they don’t have the words or the regulation strategies to deal with all that intensity, they shut down, blow up, or tune out.
Understanding emotions can be overwhelming for teens—but you can help them feel safer
Teen brains are still learning how to handle intense emotions. Add in school pressure, social drama, and identity development, and it’s no wonder they feel overwhelmed. The good news? You can teach them how to feel their feelings without being ruled by them.
DBT teaches a skill called Mindfulness of Emotions—a helpful tool that allows teens tune in, make space for their emotions, and respond instead of react.
The skill your teen needs: Mindfulness of Emotions
Mindfulness of Emotions teaches your teen to observe and allow their feelings without judgment. Instead of pushing emotions away or acting on them immediately, this skill helps them pause, notice, and ride the wave of the emotion until it passes.
Here’s how you can break it down for your teen:
Notice the Emotion
Pause and ask, “What am I feeling right now?”Name the Emotion
Help them label the feeling: anger, embarrassment, sadness, anxiety.Watch It Without Judgment
Instead of saying it’s bad to feel that way, teach them to observe the emotion like a wave—it rises, it peaks, and it falls.Ride It Out
Remind them that they don’t have to fix or avoid the feeling. It won’t last forever.
When teens learn that emotions are temporary and tolerable, they feel more in control. They become less reactive and more grounded.
14-year-old “Mia” used to cry and slam her door whenever she felt overwhelmed
Mia’s parents felt like they were walking on eggshells. Every minor stressor led to a meltdown, and nothing seemed to calm her down. One day after failing a math test, Mia told her mom she was “just dumb” and locked herself in her room.
How one teen learned to ride the wave of big feelings without drowning in them
In therapy, Mia’s clinician taught her the Mindfulness of Emotions skill. They used a visual of a wave and talked about how emotions build and pass, just like waves in the ocean. Mia learned to pause before reacting.
She practiced saying, “What am I feeling right now?” and naming the emotion. In that moment, instead of spiraling, she identified that she felt shame. And instead of slamming the door, she said to her mom, “I’m really embarrassed about my grade.”
That one shift brought her closer to her parents and gave her more control
Mia started using this skill in small moments. She practiced during low-stress times so that when the big feelings hit, she was ready. Over time, the outbursts became fewer and the conversations deeper. Her parents learned to validate her emotions, and she learned to express them more clearly.
Mia still feels big emotions—but now she knows what to do with them.
Drawing from our evidence-based DBT programs used successfully for over 10 years, we’ve helped hundreds of teens stop letting emotions control their behavior
Proven strategies that have helped teens break free from emotional overwhelm
Mindfulness of Emotions isn’t just a feel-good concept. It’s backed by research and has helped hundreds of teens in our program respond to life’s challenges with more confidence and calm.
Here are some strategies we use that you can try at home:
Practice naming emotions together
During dinner or in the car, take turns naming an emotion you felt that day. It builds emotional vocabulary.Model the skill yourself
Say things like, “I’m feeling frustrated right now, and I’m just going to take a second to breathe.”Create a safe, non-judgmental space
Let them know that all emotions are okay. You don’t need to fix them—just listen and validate.Start small
Don’t wait for a crisis. Practice during everyday stress so it’s easier to use when emotions run high.
These steps help teens build emotional flexibility and reduce the shame that often comes with big feelings. And when parents practice it too, the whole family starts to feel more grounded.
Take the first step toward helping your teen feel in control of their emotions
You don’t have to wait for the next emotional explosion to start making a difference.
Want support using these tools?
👉 Join our upcoming workshop where we walk you through exactly how to apply DBT skills at home.
Your teen doesn’t have to shut down. With the right tools, they can learn to stay present, speak up, and handle their feelings with confidence. And you can be the steady support they need every step of the way.