Thanksgiving is often thought of as a time to gather with loved ones, share gratitude, and celebrate with a feast. But for teens struggling with body image, disordered eating, or anxiety, this holiday can feel like a daunting challenge instead of a joyful occasion.
For many families, Thanksgiving traditions revolve around food—whether it’s cooking a big meal together, indulging in second helpings, or chatting over pumpkin pie. While these traditions can create warm memories, they can also heighten stress for teens who feel overwhelmed by food-related pressures.
As a parent, you can support your teen in navigating Thanksgiving by shifting the focus from food to connection and gratitude. Here’s how you can help make the holiday more meaningful and less stressful.
Reframe Thanksgiving Traditions
Thanksgiving doesn’t have to center around the meal to be special. While food can be a part of the celebration, it’s the togetherness that makes the holiday meaningful. Try reframing your family traditions to prioritize connection over what’s on the table.
• Create non-food rituals. Take a family walk before or after the meal, play board games, watch a football game, or make a gratitude tree where everyone writes what they’re thankful for on paper leaves.
• Focus on the experience. If your family enjoys cooking together, shift the focus to teamwork and bonding rather than the meal itself. Let your teen take part in the process in a way that feels comfortable for them, whether it’s setting the table or helping with decorations.
By creating rituals that aren’t food-centric, you can help your teen feel more at ease while still enjoying the holiday spirit.
Avoid Policing Food Choices
It’s common for families to talk about food during Thanksgiving—whether it’s reminding everyone to “save room for dessert” or encouraging an extra serving of stuffing. However, these comments can unintentionally create pressure or reinforce unhealthy patterns for a teen struggling with food-related anxiety.
Instead:
• Avoid comments about how much or how little your teen is eating.
• Refrain from encouraging or discouraging second helpings.
• Normalize balanced eating without making it the center of attention.
Your role is to foster an environment where your teen feels safe and supported, not scrutinized.
Focus on Gratitude
Thanksgiving is an opportunity to reflect on what matters most—connection, gratitude, and love. Help your teen see that the holiday is about more than just food by modeling gratitude throughout the day.
• Share your gratitude. Take time to express what you’re thankful for—your family, your teen, and the time you have together. Be specific about the qualities you appreciate in your teen, reinforcing their value beyond appearance or accomplishments.
• Incorporate gratitude into your traditions. Create a gratitude jar where everyone writes down what they’re thankful for and reads it aloud after the meal.
Focusing on gratitude not only shifts the spotlight away from food but also helps your teen see the holiday as a celebration of connection and meaning.
Create Opportunities for Connection
Thanksgiving can sometimes feel isolating for teens who are anxious or self-conscious about eating in front of others. By fostering connection, you can help your teen feel more included and supported.
• Spend time together before the meal. Plan activities like watching a parade, working on a puzzle, or volunteering as a family.
• Engage your teen in conversation. During dinner, ask open-ended questions about their interests or what they’re thankful for this year.
These moments of connection remind your teen that Thanksgiving is about togetherness, not judgment or pressure.
Be a Safe Space for Your Teen
For teens navigating mental health challenges, Thanksgiving can bring up complicated emotions. Let your teen know it’s okay to feel stressed, and offer validation and support without trying to fix or minimize their feelings.
You might say:
• “I know today can feel overwhelming, and I’m here if you want to talk.”
• “Thanksgiving is about being with the people we love, and I’m grateful to spend this time with you.”
By creating a safe, understanding space, you can help your teen feel more at ease and focus on the parts of the holiday that bring joy and connection.
This Thanksgiving, the most meaningful gift you can give your teen is your support, love, and presence. By focusing on gratitude and togetherness, you can help them build positive memories that last long after the holiday season.