Not feeling your feelings isn’t the goal. Emotions serve a purpose. Anxiety, for example, exists to keep us safe. It helps you avoid walking into traffic when you’re anxious at the curb. Anger can signal that someone has crossed your boundaries or harmed you. Sadness can indicate a loss or a need for change.
The Role of Emotions
Emotions are powerful and can serve several important functions:
1. Motivation and Action: Emotions can drive us to act. For instance, if your teen gets hurt on the sports field, your emotions of anxiety, fear, and worry can motivate and organize you to rush to their aid and ensure they receive medical treatment.
2. Communication: Emotions help communicate to others and influence their behavior. Facial expressions, tone, and body language quickly convey how we feel and what we need. This non-verbal communication is crucial for interpersonal interactions.
Challenges in Regulating Emotions
While emotions are beneficial, they can sometimes be hard to regulate. Here are a few reasons why:
1. Biology: Some individuals are biologically sensitive, making it challenging to regulate emotions. They may react quickly and find it hard to return to a calm state.
2. Lack of Skills: Many people simply lack the skills to manage their emotions. They’ve never learned how to handle their feelings effectively.
3. Reinforcement of Strong Emotions: When a teen has an emotional outburst and receives what they want as a result, it reinforces the behavior. The message they receive is that strong emotions help them achieve their goals, making emotional regulation even more difficult.
4. Overwhelming Emotions: Some individuals are overwhelmed by their emotions because they haven’t had opportunities to learn and practice regulation skills.
DBT Skills Groups: A Solution
This is where Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) skills groups come into play. In our DBT skills groups, we teach concrete and practical skills to help manage emotions. Participants practice these skills in a group setting, receiving feedback and support from peers. This practice is key for mastering emotional regulation.