Mindfulness encompasses many aspects, but its most crucial benefit for teenagers and parents is the ability to pause between our thoughts and actions. This pause is especially vital for teens who may experience urges to self-harm or engage in self-destructive behaviors.
When we cultivate mindfulness, we strengthen our ability to notice these urges in our bodies—perhaps feeling a surge of energy in the chest or an impulse to engage in harmful behavior. Instead of acting on these impulses impulsively, mindfulness allows us to describe them either to ourselves or to a supportive person. By acknowledging the urge, we remind ourselves that it is just a feeling and that we do not need to act on it.
Mindfulness creates a space between thought and action, providing us with the opportunity to make a conscious choice rather than reacting impulsively. This space is fundamental in preventing harmful behaviors.
In Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), we use “What” and “How” skills to enhance mindfulness. The “What” skills include observing, describing, and participating. Observing means noticing the internal and external experiences without trying to change them. Describing involves putting words to what we observe, like saying, “I’m feeling this urge right now.” Participating means fully engaging in the present moment without being distracted.
The “How” skills guide us on how to practice these “What” skills. These include being non-judgmental, focusing on one thing at a time, and being effective. Being non-judgmental means accepting our thoughts and feelings without labeling them as good or bad. Focusing on one thing at a time helps us stay present and avoid feeling overwhelmed. Being effective involves doing what works in the moment to achieve our goals, rather than getting stuck on what’s right or fair.
Another critical aspect of mindfulness is non-judgment. It’s about recognizing that having certain thoughts or urges is human and understandable. Instead of criticizing ourselves for these thoughts, we approach them with compassion and objectivity. Judging ourselves only adds layers of unhelpful emotions, potentially worsening the situation.
Mastering mindfulness involves observing what is happening within and around us, putting words to these experiences, and communicating them to others without judgment. By doing so, we harness the core skills of mindfulness, enabling us to create space and make thoughtful choices that improve our lives.
In practicing mindfulness and DBT skills, we increase our ability to pause and choose our actions wisely, ultimately leading to a more balanced and fulfilling life.