Describing emotions can be tricky, especially when we struggle to pinpoint exactly how we feel or how to express those feelings in words. This challenge is even more pronounced for teens, who are navigating a whirlwind of changes. At Creative Healing, we help teens make sense of their emotions by guiding them to recognize and understand their emotional patterns.
In our DBT groups, we encourage teens to explore their own behavioral patterns, such as avoidance, self-harm, or isolation. Let’s use procrastination as an example to illustrate how emotional cycles can unfold and how understanding them can lead to better emotional management.
Procrastination often begins with a sense of overwhelm, which can quickly escalate into anxiety. This cycle typically starts with a prompting event—something that triggers the feeling of overwhelm. For a teen, this could be a big project that’s due soon, a difficult homework assignment, or even an upcoming sports tryout. The thought of tackling the task can create an immediate sense of dread.
Next, the interpretation phase kicks in. For instance, if the task is a challenging homework assignment, your teen might think:
- "What if I can't figure it out?"
- "I'm going to fail if I don't do well on this."
- "I don't know where to start."
- "Everyone else probably finds this easier than I do."
These thoughts fuel the anxiety, making the task seem even more daunting, which often leads to further procrastination.
We then guide teens to notice their physical and emotional responses to this cycle. When thinking about the task they’re avoiding, they might experience:
- A tightness in their chest
- A feeling of fatigue or lack of energy
- An urge to distract themselves with something easier or more enjoyable
- Difficulty concentrating
We also help them observe their emotional expressions. Does their body language show signs of avoidance, such as slouching or avoiding eye contact? Do they appear tense or restless?
Finally, we ask teens to reflect on the aftereffects of their procrastination. After putting off the task, they might:
- Feel guilty or frustrated with themselves
- Experience racing thoughts about how they’ve fallen behind
- Notice increased stress as the deadline looms closer
- Withdraw from activities they usually enjoy as the pressure builds
Teens often find it hard to articulate these experiences, but by breaking down the emotional process into manageable steps, we help them gain insight into their feelings and behaviors. This understanding empowers them to manage their emotions more effectively and to approach challenges with greater confidence.