Life as a teenager can be overwhelming. Between academic stress, friendships, and figuring out their identity, teens often experience intense emotions that feel like too much to handle. This is where ACCEPTS comes in—a DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) skill designed to help manage those emotions by focusing on distraction and self-soothing strategies.
As a parent, teaching and modeling ACCEPTS can help your teen navigate challenging moments with confidence. Here’s what ACCEPTS means and how you can use it to support your teen.
What is ACCEPTS?
ACCEPTS is an acronym that stands for Activities, Contributing, Comparisons, Opposite Emotions, Pushing Away, Thoughts, and Sensations. These are tools your teen can use to shift their focus and manage emotional overwhelm.
Breaking Down ACCEPTS
Activities: Engage in something productive or fun, like painting, going for a walk, or playing a favorite video game. Activities help redirect focus from the intensity of emotions.
Contributing: Helping someone else can create a sense of purpose. Small acts like helping with chores, volunteering, or offering a kind word can shift perspective.
Comparisons: Encourage your teen to reflect on how far they’ve come or compare the current situation to something they’ve already overcome.
Opposite Emotions: Shift their mood by doing something that sparks an opposite feeling, like watching a comedy or listening to uplifting music.
Pushing Away: If the situation feels too overwhelming, mentally set it aside for a while. This doesn’t mean ignoring the problem forever but taking a needed break.
Thoughts: Engage the brain with something mentally stimulating, like solving a puzzle, counting backward, or reciting song lyrics.
Sensations: Use grounding techniques like holding an ice cube, running hands under cold water, or lighting a favorite scented candle to focus on the physical present.
How Teens Can Use ACCEPTS
Imagine your teen is feeling overwhelmed by an upcoming math test. They’re convinced they’ll fail and are spiraling into frustration. Instead of staying stuck, they can try ACCEPTS:
Activities: Take a short walk or play their favorite song while reviewing notes.
Opposite Emotions: Watch a funny video to lighten the mood before tackling the material again.
Thoughts: Count backward from 50 to refocus their mind and bring themselves back to the present.
By the time they return to studying, they’ll likely feel more centered and ready to focus.
How Parents Can Model ACCEPTS
Teens are more likely to use a skill when they see you modeling it. If you’ve had a hard day, talk them through how you’re using ACCEPTS:
“I’m feeling really stressed right now, so I’m going to do something calming to feel better. I’ll take a short walk and then light a candle while I relax with a book.”
This shows them that even adults need strategies to manage emotions.
You can also practice ACCEPTS together. If your teen is upset, suggest, “Let’s do something fun to take your mind off this for a bit. How about baking cookies or going for a quick drive?” This makes it feel like a shared activity rather than something they’re doing on their own.
Why ACCEPTS Works
The goal of ACCEPTS isn’t to ignore problems but to create enough emotional distance so they can approach challenges with a clearer head. It teaches your teen that they don’t have to be ruled by their emotions and equips them with practical tools to manage tough moments.
Final Thoughts
Start small—encourage your teen to try one or two elements of ACCEPTS the next time they’re feeling overwhelmed. Over time, they’ll build confidence in their ability to manage even the toughest moments.