Sometimes our thoughts can feel overpowering to the point where they dictate our mood and influence our actions.
When these thoughts are negative ones, they can have a significant impact on our mental health, causing us to feel greater levels of anxiety, fear, anger, and depression.
If we spend all day thinking about the worst case scenario that could happen to us, we will be more anxious and fearful. If we dwell on thoughts about our past mistakes, we will start to experience shame. If we think negative thoughts about ourselves and the way we look, we will start to believe these thoughts.
Just because these thoughts will influence our attitudes does not mean that they are true, however.
These thoughts don’t have power because they are accurate, but rather because we are giving them our attention and holding them in high regard. We can be mindful of our thoughts without giving them complete control and allowing them to shape us.
The sooner we realize that thoughts are not facts and thus are not worthy of our attention, the sooner we will be able to put distance between ourselves and the unhelpful thoughts we experience.
Here are a few ways we can reinforce the idea that thoughts don’t have to be trusted:
Keep a thought journal
Sometimes people are not aware of the number of negative thoughts they think each day. The first step in fighting against negative thoughts is to learn to recognize when you are experiencing them.
Start keeping track of the negative thoughts you experience by writing them down in a journal whenever you recognize them. You may be surprised by how many negative thoughts that come to your mind on a given day.
The more you journal, the easier it will be for you to spot these negative thoughts when they first occur.
Combat negative thoughts with the truth
Once you are better able to recognize your negative thoughts, you will be able to combat them with the truth.
Just because your mind says that no one likes you or that you are not a good parent doesn’t mean that it’s true. You can help yourself start to realize this by speaking the truth whenever you notice yourself experiencing unhelpful thoughts.
For instance, if you think a thought like My teen hates me and will never want to spend time with me again, you can combat this lie by writing down all of the times when they have wanted to do something with you or thinking about the actions they do that show that they love you.
If you think that you are the worst parent on the planet, combat this falsehood by writing down all of your parenting successes.
Every time you are faced with a negative thought that you are tempted to believe, remind yourself that thoughts are not necessarily true, and you don’t have to pay these thoughts any attention.
Meditate
Mindfulness meditation is a skill that is useful for helping people gain control over their thoughts. During mindfulness meditation, participants are encouraged to acknowledge any thoughts that come into their heads and let them go without holding on to them or paying them any mind.
As people who meditate develop this skill, it becomes easier for them to give their thoughts less weight even outside of their meditation time.
Try adopting a meditation practice that will help you recognize thoughts without giving in to them. This way, when you think things like I’m not a good enough parent or I’ll never have a good relationship with my teen, you’ll be able to acknowledge these thoughts and push them away before they impact your mood, decision making, or self-esteem.
Ask for support
A trusted friend, family member, or therapist can help you make strides towards letting go of harmful thoughts.
Friends and family members can help you see the truth when you start to believe the lies that some of your negative thoughts put in your head.
Therapists will give you strategies you can use to unlearn negative habits and cope with unhelpful thoughts when they arise.
If you are having trouble keeping thoughts from derailing your life, make a plan to talk to someone you trust and consider working with a therapist. With support, you will find that it is a lot easier to recognize that your thoughts are not facts so that you can learn to let them go.