Parenting a teenager, especially one in DBT, often feels like a full-time job. You're constantly tending to their needs, emotions, and challenges. But if you're not careful, you can easily burn yourself out, leaving little energy for both your teen and yourself. In these moments, it's crucial to remember: self-care isn't selfish. It's essential.
Think of it like a car. You wouldn’t drive hundreds of miles without refueling, right? The same goes for you. If you're running on empty, you can’t give your teen the support they need. This is where DBT’s PLEASE skill comes into play. It's a simple, effective way to check in with yourself and make sure you're practicing self-care, so you're in the best position to care for your teen.
Prioritize Your Physical Health
Your physical well-being sets the foundation for everything else. Ignoring signs of illness or putting off doctor visits can leave you feeling depleted. It’s important to take care of yourself physically so that you have the stamina to help your teen. If you're feeling run down, it might be harder to show up fully for them. So, make those medical appointments, take medication as prescribed, and listen to your body when it’s asking for rest.
Eating Right Matters
Food is fuel. When you're busy focusing on your teen, it’s easy to skip meals or grab something unhealthy on the go. But when your blood sugar dips, or you're loaded up on junk, your mood and energy levels will suffer. A balanced diet helps you feel more grounded and gives you the strength to deal with daily stressors. Take notice of how food affects your mood and energy.
Avoid Mood-Altering Substances
As tempting as it can be to wind down with alcohol or other substances, they can actually make things harder in the long run. They can disrupt your mood, sleep, and ability to be present for your teen. It’s important to be mindful of how substances affect your well-being. Moderation is key, and it’s worth considering whether these substances are helping or hindering your ability to manage stress and stay connected with your teen.
Get Enough Sleep
Sleep is not a luxury; it’s a necessity. A lack of sleep impacts everything from your patience to your ability to think clearly. When you’re running on little sleep, it’s tough to stay calm when your teen is overwhelmed or emotional. Sleep gives your brain time to recharge, process emotions, and prepare for the day ahead. Aim for 7-9 hours of quality rest. Your future self—and your teen—will thank you for it.
Move Your Body
Exercise is more than just a physical boost—it’s a mental one, too. Regular movement releases endorphins, helps reduce stress, and improves your mood. It’s a natural way to recharge both physically and mentally. Even a short walk outside can help clear your mind and restore your energy. When you feel strong and healthy, you’re better equipped to handle whatever challenges arise with your teen.
The Bigger Picture: Modeling Self-Care for Your Teen
When you practice self-care, you’re not just helping yourself—you’re modeling healthy behavior for your teen. Teens learn a lot from what they see, and showing them that self-care is a priority sends a powerful message. It teaches them that taking care of themselves is essential, and it also shows them how to do it.
While it may feel like you need to sacrifice your own needs to care for your teen, neglecting yourself won't benefit either of you in the long run. By following the PLEASE skill, you’re not only taking care of yourself but also setting a strong example for your teen on how to maintain balance in their life. Remember, when you're at your best, you can help them be at theirs too.