When it comes to helping teens build healthy relationships, the THINK skill is one of the most powerful tools we can offer. This skill is all about perspective-taking—learning how to step outside of our own experience and try to see things from someone else’s point of view. Not only can this improve our teens' relationships, but it can also deepen their empathy, understanding, and overall emotional resilience.
What is the THINK Skill?
The THINK skill, part of the DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) interpersonal effectiveness module, is designed to help teens think flexibly and broaden their perspectives. It encourages them to consider what someone else might be going through, even if they haven’t experienced it themselves. THINK is an acronym, each letter representing a step in the process of developing empathy and understanding.
Here’s a breakdown of what each letter stands for:
T – Take Their Perspective
Teens learn to consider the situation from the other person’s point of view. For example, if a friend seems distant or doesn’t respond to messages, the instinct might be to feel hurt or offended. But by using the THINK skill, your teen can pause and consider other reasons behind this behavior.H – Have Empathy
Empathy allows us to recognize that everyone goes through difficult emotions and experiences. This step is all about simply acknowledging someone’s feelings. Even if your teen hasn’t been in a friend’s exact situation, they can still try to understand how hard it might be for them.I – Interpret Flexibly
When someone doesn’t act as expected, our minds often jump to conclusions. By practicing flexible interpretations, teens can explore alternative explanations for others’ behavior. For example, instead of assuming a friend didn’t respond because they’re mad, they might consider that the friend’s phone died, or they were busy.N – Notice Mindfully
Noticing is all about paying close attention to what’s going on. Observing the other person’s body language, tone of voice, and actions can provide valuable clues about their emotions. Mindful noticing helps teens get out of their heads and stay present, allowing them to see more than just surface-level interactions.K – Keep a Kind Approach
Kindness rounds out the THINK skill by reminding us to approach others with compassion. When your teen uses kindness, they show up as supportive, gentle, and understanding friends. This might mean sending a kind message, offering a listening ear, or simply showing gratitude for the relationship.
Why THINK is Essential for Teens
THINK gives teens a structured way to navigate their relationships thoughtfully. Practicing perspective-taking helps them avoid unnecessary conflict, reduces assumptions, and builds stronger, more empathetic connections.