Parenting a teenager with intense emotions often feels like navigating a minefield. You're constantly juggling conflicts, trying to prevent small issues from escalating into crises. The key to managing these situations effectively is knowing which problems require immediate attention and which can be set aside temporarily.
Understanding a Crisis
A true crisis occurs when your teen's behavior puts them or others at imminent risk of harm or makes it impossible for them to care for themselves safely. Here are some clear examples:
Crisis Situations:
Suicidal Ideation and Attempts: If your teen expresses a desire to die, makes a plan, or attempts suicide, it’s a crisis. For instance:
Sharing a detailed plan to overdose on pills.
Inflicting deep cuts needing medical attention.
Attempting to hang themselves or use a weapon to end their life.
Gaining access to potentially lethal means like firearms or high places.
Non-Crisis Situations:
Big Emotions Without Life-Threatening Intent: Sometimes teens express extreme emotions without actual suicidal intent. For example, a teen saying "I want to die" out of embarrassment after a fall is not necessarily a crisis. Consider their history and current behaviors to assess the risk.
Self-Harm:
Crisis: Self-inflicted wounds requiring medical attention, especially with suicidal intent, are crises.
Non-Crisis: Superficial self-harm without suicidal intent, while concerning, does not require immediate crisis intervention.
Running Away:
Crisis: If your teen runs away and you believe they are engaging in risky behaviors (e.g., with drug dealers or gang members), it’s a crisis.
Non-Crisis: Leaving home out of defiance or spending the night at a friend’s house without engaging in dangerous activities is not a crisis.
Threatening Behavior:
Crisis: Verbal or physical threats towards you or others, or aggressive actions that pose an immediate danger, require immediate intervention.
Non-Crisis: Non-threatening outbursts, such as yelling or slamming doors, though stressful, do not constitute crises.
Loss of Control:
Crisis: Severe emotional disturbances leading to a loss of reality or control, such as paranoia or extreme mood swings, can escalate into life-threatening situations.
Non-Crisis: Anxiety attacks or withdrawal, while serious, do not necessitate immediate crisis intervention.
Next Steps
Knowing the difference between crisis and non-crisis situations helps you respond appropriately. In a crisis, immediate professional help is essential to ensure safety. For non-crisis issues, you can take time to communicate with your teen, practice active listening, and seek appropriate mental health support to address their behaviors and emotions constructively.