If you have a highly sensitive teen, you know first hand that their emotions can be a gift and a curse.
Your teen might be quick to fly off the handle at the smallest remark, but at the same time, they might have a remarkable capacity for empathy. They may burst into tears when they feel the least bit slighted, but you might admire the level of passion and dedication they have toward different social causes.
While it is easy to feel like having a highly sensitive teen is exhausting, it is important to remember that there are just as many positive qualities as there are negative.
Here are a few of the pros and cons of having a highly sensitive teen:
Advantages
Because your teen is highly sensitive, there are quite a few areas where they tend to excel:
Practicing empathy
Highly sensitive teens are natural empaths. Whereas many people are conditioned to simply feel sorry for someone when they are down on their luck or going through a hard time, your teen is more in touch with their emotional side and is able to see someone else’s sadness and make it their own.
You might notice that your teen is willing to drop everything (even when you don’t want them to!) to rush to their friend’s side. Maybe you’ve heard them spend hours on the phone consoling a friend after a breakup or you’ve seen them offer to take a younger sibling who is feeling sad out for ice cream.
In a society where it seems like many people only care about themselves, it is great to know that your teen values the feelings of others.
Seeking justice
You might be tired of hearing about what is and isn’t fair when it comes to the guidelines and expectations you set for your teen; however, this attitude can certainly be advantageous.
Because your teen knows how upsetting it is when they experience injustice, they are likely passionate about righting wrongs and seeking justice for others.
Maybe your teen participates in marches to spread awareness for social justice issues. Maybe your teen volunteers or raises money to help support organizations that are making a real difference. Maybe your teen gets excited about social and environmental causes, encouraging you to take shorter showers and chiding you for refusing to compost.
Whether they are serious about climate change, human rights, or other social or environmental justice issues, this boldness and initiative can be inspiring to see.
Caring for animals
Does your family dog or cat always seem to want to sleep in your teen’s room or spend time with your teen over other members of the family? Teens who experience big emotions tend to have a heart for animals.
If your teen sees a stray cat wandering around all by itself or a bird who has injured its wing, chances are high that they will step in to help if possible.
Exercising creativity
Being in tune with their emotional side also helps your teen exercise creativity. Because your teen has so many strong internal emotions, they are good at finding ways to express and release these emotions whether this is through music, art, writing, or some other creative outlet.
Take a moment to think about your favorite song...now think about your favorite movie...now think about a painting or sculpture that caught your attention at a museum.
Why are these pieces of art your favorites? Because they all cause you to feel something!
The artists who created these works were able to channel their emotions into something that has made a difference in your life.
While your teen may not write the next hit song or bestselling novel, if your teen has big emotions, it is likely that they have the skill to think outside of the box and practice creativity.
Challenges
The propensity for kindness toward animals, empathy, justice, and creativity are just a few of the many admiral traits of highly sensitive teens.
These traits are especially important to keep in mind in moments when you feel burnt out, frustrated, or helpless when raising your teen.
Here are some of the challenges that you should be aware of when raising a teen with big emotions:
Strong reactions
Because highly sensitive teens are more adept at picking up on their surroundings and they feel things more deeply, they also tend to react to difficult emotions more strongly than others.
Behind every “I hate you!” or “I wish I wasn’t here!” or “I’ll never do anything right!” are several different emotions that they are struggling to control.
Their thoughts and emotions might cause them to react in ways that might feel extreme. They might refuse to speak to you, slam doors, leave the house, or say hurtful things as a response.
When they feel anxious, they may lash out. When they feel sad, they might turn to self-harm.
This can be challenging to navigate as a parent because you are always afraid that any seemingly small action can trigger a major response.
Deep emotions
While feeling things deeply is great when it comes to emotions like empathy, it is not so helpful when it comes to feelings like sadness and anger.
Instead of feeling a little sad when they are not invited to a party or they experience a break-up, these situations might make them feel deep depression.
For instance, when you say, “I’m sorry, but I can’t watch a movie with you tonight,” your teen might experience the following strong thoughts and emotions: Even my own parent doesn’t want to hang out with me. I’m worthless. Maybe nobody likes me.
When your teen experiences deep emotions, it can be difficult for you to know what to say or do to offer relief and reassurance.
Although it can certainly be difficult to raise a teen who is easily triggered, impulsive, and constantly battling anxiety or other big emotions, it is important that you are able to see beyond these challenges and remember that there are many advantages to having a highly sensitive tee as well.