We all experience a variety of emotions, both positive and negative, on a daily basis. While these feelings can be hard to stomach at times, our ability to regulate our emotions helps us navigate and adapt to these feelings without letting them control us.
Emotional regulation keeps us from lashing out at others when we are angry or from running laps around the house when we’re excited. In this way, we are able to function in an appropriate and healthy manner regardless of the emotions that we may face.
However, emotional regulation doesn’t always come easy to everyone. There are many people who struggle to control their emotions, especially teenagers with ADHD, who tend to exhibit more extreme reactions to the positive and negative emotions they experience.
When faced with stress, fear, or anger, teens with ADHD may react more strongly, behaving in ways that are not always acceptable. Even experiencing positive emotions can be problematic for teens with ADHD, who may have trouble tempering their happiness and excitement, instead choosing to run around, jump up and down, or yell out excitedly rather than remaining calm and collected.
These strong reactions can cause teenagers with ADHD to get in trouble with teachers and employers, and it can make it difficult for them to connect with their peers.
While emotional regulation may be a bit more difficult for teens with ADHD, parents and caregivers can help mitigate the negative outcomes that these teens may experience by helping their teens develop strategies for managing their emotions.
If your teen has ADHD, here are a few strategies you can use to help them improve their ability to regulate big emotions:
Encourage self-awareness
When your teen is aware of their emotions and the behaviors that tend to stem from these emotions, they will be better able to stop themselves in their tracks when they notice that they are exhibiting inappropriate reactions to what they are feeling.
There are many ways for teens to improve their self-awareness:
Daily journaling
Meditating
Attending therapy
Seeking feedback from family and friends
Making note of constructive criticism
If your teen doesn’t know that they aren’t handling their emotions well, it will be nearly impossible for them to make any changes. Encourage them to take steps to become more self-aware so they can identify behaviors that they want to change.
Practice active listening
When teens feel like they have to bottle up their emotions or keep these emotions to themselves, it will make their feelings build until they are too strong to contain.
You can help provide a safe space for them to express their emotions by practicing active listening and validating their emotions.
If your teen wants to talk to you about something they are feeling, you can practice active listening by doing the following:
Putting away any distractions and giving your teen your undivided attention
Nodding and providing other body language cues to demonstrate that you are listening
Restating what your teen is saying to show them that you are listening and to make sure you completely understand what they feel
Validate their emotions by telling them that you understand what they are feeling, even if you don’t necessarily agree with their behavior
Brainstorm coping strategies
Once your teen has identified unhelpful behaviors and has improved their self-awareness, they will be ready to adopt coping strategies that will allow them to better manage their emotions.
For example, when they feel really excited about something, instead of making an outburst that may be distracting at school, they could take a couple of deep breaths and make a plan to share their good news with friends and family later.
When your teen feels angry, instead of yelling, they could practice breathing exercises, write down their frustrations in a notebook, or listen to music. When your teen is upset, they can go on a walk, draw, or talk to a friend.
With healthy coping strategies, students will have an appropriate outlet for the emotions they face, which will allow them to experience these emotions without succumbing to them.
Help your teen brainstorm a list of effective coping strategies that they can use when they are having trouble regulating their emotions.
Practice mindfulness together
Mindful meditation, yoga, and other mindfulness activities can help teens learn that just because they are experiencing a thought or a feeling does not mean they need to act on it.
Developing a mindfulness practice will allow your teen to practice acknowledging and letting go of emotions they are experiencing instead of reacting strongly to these emotions.
Spend time engaging in these practices with your teen in order to bond and help them develop a consistent routine.
You’ll notice that they will have an easier time allowing themselves to pay attention to their feelings without letting these emotions get in the driver’s seat and control their actions.