The famous quote, “success is when preparation meets opportunity,” rings true for everyone from athletes to entrepreneurs to teenagers. When it comes to successfully overcoming obstacles, preparation is key.
Take athletes for example. When basketball players win games, it’s not because they are magically better than the other team. It’s because they put in countless hours of effort and practice ahead of time to prepare for the big game.
At practice, players can plan ahead and prepare plays for a variety of different circumstances so that they know how to handle these situations on game day. They are able to visualize different obstacles and plays that they might encounter so that they know exactly what to do when they face these challenges in a game.
The same is true for teenagers. Whether or not your teen is an athlete, they can find success when they use this same skill in their own life.
The Cope Ahead Skill is a strategy that teens can use to rehearse a plan for overcoming an obstacle ahead of time so that they know what to do when they are faced with an emotional situation. Much like basketball players preparing for a big game, your teen can practice what to do in a high-pressure situation so that if they’re ever in that situation, they won’t panic and they’ll feel prepared.
If you’ve ever had to give a big speech or a presentation at work, you know how much more comfortable you feel when you have spent time rehearsing and planning for your presentation. In the same way, your teen will feel better when they have rehearsed and planned ahead for situations that will cause them stress and anxiety.
Here are a few ways that your teen can use The Cope Ahead Skill to help plan for emotional situations they may face in life:
1. Write down high-stress situations
Have your teen brainstorm a list of situations that are likely to cause them to feel some anxiety. Maybe they have a banquet they have to attend, a presentation they have to give, or a friend who they need to confront.
Whatever the situation may be, have them describe it in as much detail as possible. What will they be expected to do? What will make them feel nervous? What other emotions might they experience that will get in the way of their success?
Writing out all of the details of the situations they will have to face as well as the emotions they will likely encounter will allow them to craft a plan to address these situations.
2. Create a plan
Your teen’s next step is to look at the list they created and determine the coping and problem-solving skills they want to use to be successful during these high-stress situations.
Have them write down in detail exactly what they will do if they experience any of the emotions on their list or any hiccups and obstacles on their way to success.
For instance, if your teen has to give a presentation, they might worry about their heart racing or intrusive thoughts about not being smart or worthy enough to speak. In order to combat these feelings and thoughts, your teen can plan to practice deep breathing techniques to slow their heart rate right before they speak, or they can jot down a list of reasons why they are qualified to give their presentation that they can put on the podium and look at if needed.
When your teen has a plan, they will feel a lot more confident and comfortable tackling the challenging situations ahead of them.
3. Picture the situation
Tell your teen to picture the situation as if they are actually experiencing the situation in the current moment. This will provide them the opportunity to test out the coping strategies they mentioned in their plan.
4. Rehearse
When your teen is picturing the high-stress situation, have them rehearse exactly what they will do and say in order to cope. Have them visualize themselves using their coping strategies and rehearse handling any new situations or emotions that might arise. Encourage them to think of the worst-case scenario and rehearse how they will handle that situation if it were to come to pass.
Just like any other form of practice, the more your teen is able to rehearse, the more confident they will feel in their ability to conquer stressful situations.
5. Relax
When your teen has rehearsed every possible scenario that they could face in a high-stress situation, remind them to take a deep breath and relax. You want them to rehearse, but you don’t want them to become obsessed or panicked!
Let your teen know that they have done everything they possibly can to prepare and remind them that they have the strategies and skills necessary to come out on top of any challenge.