Boundaries in the Online Space

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Technology has made it easier than ever for people to connect with each other. From Zoom graduation parties to FaceTime birthday calls to interactions on social media, technology has certainly been an unsung hero during the COVID-19 pandemic. 

This is especially true for teens, who were able to social media and other online platforms to stay in touch with their friends since the onset of the pandemic. When people are unable to meet face to face, online communities can be a saving grace.

However, while connecting with others online can be great, it also comes with its fair share of problems and complications, particularly when it comes to relationships.

It can be a challenge for teens to understand how to navigate their relationships online. A teen might post an image with their significant other only to find out that their partner is not okay with that photo being online. A teen might see no issue with communicating with others through social media, but their friends might feel differently.

It’s important for teens to be willing to set and acknowledge boundaries in the online space so they can maintain healthy relationships with others.

Here are a few ways for you to make sure your teen is able to respect themselves and others online:

Discuss online boundaries with your teen

Sometimes teens are unaware of the difference between healthy and unhealthy online relationships. It might make them uncomfortable when their partner posts about their relationship on Instagram, for instance, but they might not know why this bothers them or how to get their partner to stop.

As a parent, you are able to have discussions with your teen about online relationships and boundaries so that they can feel comfortable and safe with the way their partner and their friends interact with them on social media or other online spaces.

Allow them to determine their boundaries

Before teens can make sure their wishes are respected, they need to determine their boundaries and what they are comfortable with in the online world.

Your teen should ask themselves the following questions:

  • Is there any type of content that I do not want my partner or friends to post about me?

  • Do I feel comfortable with being tagged in photos online?

  • If my partner and I are in an argument, would I want him to post any of the details online?

  • How do I feel about my partner or my friends using my phone, tablet, or computer?

  • Do I want my partner to post about our relationship publicly?

  • Am I okay with my partner or my friends sharing my posts or photos online?

When your teen asks themselves these questions, it will give them a good idea of where they might need to set boundaries with others.

Teach them to communicate their boundaries

Make sure your teen knows that they cannot expect their partner or their friends not to cross any lines if they don’t make their boundaries clear.

Tell your teen that they have a right to have their online boundaries respected, and let them know that it is okay for them to communicate these boundaries. While there might be some negotiating or conversation as your teen and their partner or friends try to come to an agreement on different boundaries, this way, your teen will be able to communicate clear expectations for how they would like others to interact with them online.

Encourage your teen to respect others’ boundaries

It doesn’t matter how much your teen may want to post something about their partner online, or if they have a really good reason for using their partner’s phone, if it violates their partner’s boundaries, it is not okay.

Teach your teen that it is important to listen to other people’s preferences and personal boundaries, and to respect these boundaries when spending time online.

Respect their boundaries

You might really love that beautiful photo of your family on the beach, and it might seem harmless to post it on Facebook. However, if your teen has asked that others don’t post pictures of them, or if they have requested that they people don’t upload photos of them while they are at the pool, beach, or any other place where they wear a swimsuit, you’ll need to respect their wishes.

Allowing your teen to have some control over how you interact with them on social media is important for helping them feel safe online and showing them that you take their personal boundaries seriously.

This will go a long way toward helping your teen recognize what healthy online relationships look like, making it easier for them to spot any potentially problematic behaviors from their partner or friends.