Many people who have OCD, depression, PTSD, and/or anxiety wrestle with managing ruminating thoughts.
Ruminating thoughts are negative thought patterns that cycle through the mind seemingly on loop. They are excessive and intrusive, and they can have a major toll on any person who struggles to cope with these thoughts.
A person who feels anxious might have ruminating thoughts centering around a particular fear or a certain event or circumstance that causes them to worry.
If your teen has anxiety, they could experience negative thought patterns around an event like What if no one asks me to prom? What if I ask someone to prom, and they say no, and I’m embarrassed in front of the entire school? If I go to prom, people will probably think my dress is ugly. I’m not a good dancer, and people will post videos on TikTok or Snapchat. What if my suit is too tight? I’m probably going to trip and fall in front of everyone, I’m going to make a fool of myself and have a miserable time.
Someone who has gone through a traumatic event might have ruminating thoughts that force them to continue to think about and relive their trauma.
As you can see, experiencing ruminating thoughts can be painful and debilitating. If your teen is battling these intrusive thoughts, it can be easy for them to start to believe their negative thoughts, which can have a negative impact on their self-worth, their personality, their willingness to try new things, and their ability to complete daily activities.
To help your teen learn to address their ruminating thoughts, it is important that you are able to recognize key rumination triggers and learn strategies that can help stop these negative thoughts.
Identify common rumination triggers
While this is by no means an exhaustive list, there are many experiences that can trigger ruminating thoughts
Traumatic events
Perfectionism
New or unfamiliar experiences
Negative experiences like getting cut from a team or losing a friend
Facing a fear
Anxieties surrounding upcoming events like receiving college decisions, going to prom, giving presentations, or awaiting test results
Shame
Once you are aware of the potential triggers that can lead to ruminating thoughts for your teen, you can be prepared to offer them additional support when they experience these circumstances and you can teach them to identify these triggers themselves. This way, they will be more aware of the fact that they may start to have ruminating thoughts again so they can use helpful coping strategies and potentially avoid these triggers.
For instance, if your teen knows that their low self-esteem or perfectionism can signal ruminating thoughts, they can unfollow Instagram models so their feed isn’t full of unattainable beauty images.
If your teen knows anxiety around their dream college’s decision date will trigger ruminating thoughts, they can avoid social media until they receive their decision so they don’t feel anxious watching other people post about their acceptances.
Get in a state of “flow”
When your teen experiences “flow” they are so engaged in an activity at hand that they lose all sense of time and worry.
Whether this state is achieved by mastering a new song on the guitar, getting lost in the enjoyment of painting a photo, or engaging in strenuous exercise, it will provide your teen with a distraction from their ruminating thoughts as well as a sense of happiness and accomplishment that can combat negative thought patterns.
Do esteemable acts
One of the best ways for teens to increase their self-esteem and fight the negative thoughts that tell lies about their worth is to do esteemable acts.
When was the last time your teen was of service to another person? When is the last time your teen volunteered without receiving credit for school or trying to pad their resume?
Helping other people allows the mind to shift from focusing on its own wants and needs to the wants and needs of others, all the while increasing the actor’s self-esteem.
If your teen spends time volunteering at a nursing home, for example, they will get a natural serotonin and self-esteem boost that comes from providing value to someone else, and they will be so busy helping other people that they won’t have time to focus on ruminating thoughts.
Practice meditation
Meditation helps people learn that their thoughts are just thoughts. They aren’t facts, they aren’t premonitions, and they aren’t in control.
When your teen practices mindful meditation, they will learn to acknowledge intrusive thoughts that come their way and then let go of these thoughts without giving them attention.
Eventually, this skill will help them tackle their ruminating thoughts at any time, allowing them to stop the negative thought cycle in its tracks.
Equipped with these strategies, teens can combat ruminating thoughts and prevent these thoughts from taking control of their lives.