Connecting with your teen doesn’t have to feel like running a marathon. When parents feel like they have to practically cross an ocean to reach their teen, it can cause them to stop trying to connect with their teen altogether.
Why bother scheduling a one-on-one trip with their teen if their teen is going to beg not to go or complain the whole time? Why try to have a deep conversation with their teen if their teen is going to roll their eyes, give one word answers, or keep their airpods in the whole time?
While many parents feel like connecting with teenagers will be nearly if not plain out impossible, the truth is that there are simple, small steps they can take to build connections with their teens
Although it may take more time and effort to reach a point where your teen will want to go on a trip or have a serious talk with you, there are immediate actions you can take that can help you build a bond with your teen today.
Here are five small actions you can do today to connect with your teen:
1. Do something together
One of the best ways to connect with your teen is to spend time together. Whether the activity you do is big or small, this quality time can make a big difference in your relationship.
If you assign chores for your teen, try to give them a chore that you can do with them. For instance, you could scrub off the dishes and pass them to your teen to load the dishwasher. This will give you a few minutes to catch up, ask them about their day, and see what’s going on in their life.
You can also try cooking dinner together tonight. Allow them to pick what is for dinner and make the meal together. This will allow the two of you to have fun and be creative and productive together.
Think of one short activity that the two of you can do today and make a plan to do this activity when they get home from school.
2. Ask them a question
While your teen might not be ready to have a deep, philosophical conversation with you, you can still connect with them by asking them questions about their day or their interests. When you practice asking deeper questions, you will be able to have more meaningful conversations with your teen.
Try asking them a specific question today, like “What is something you learned in English today?” or “What teams do you think are going to make the playoffs this year?” or “What was the best part of your day today?”
3. Eat a meal together
Although it can be difficult for families with busy schedules to eat together for dinner every night, sharing a meal can provide a great opportunity to connect with your teen.
If eating dinner together won’t work for you today, try surprising your teen with their favorite dessert. This way, the two of you can eat dessert together even if they have a late practice or study session that causes them to miss dinner time.
4. Send them a message
You don’t have to be face-to-face with your teen to connect with them. Leave a positive note on their bathroom mirror, send them a text letting them know you’re thinking of them, or send them a message with a picture of something funny that you saw during the day.
This will help them feel closer to you as they go about their day, and it may give you something to talk about when they get home from school tonight.
5. Check out one of their interests
Your teen will feel a deeper connection with you if they see you are making an effort to learn about their interests.
If your teen is an activist in the making, spend five minutes reading an article about an issue they’re passionate about today. If they love basketball, take a few minutes today to watch the highlights from the game they watched last night.
Listen to a song by their favorite artist on your way to work or look at a picture of the new limited edition sneakers they can’t stop talking about when you’re on your lunch break.
Not only will you show your teen that you care about what they care about, but you will also get to know them better as you start to understand their interests.
Taking these five steps today will help you make major progress in your relationship with your teen.