Like anyone, teenagers can find themselves feeling overwhelmed when faced with difficult situations that bring up uncomfortable emotions.
However, while some teenagers are able to manage these emotions well and implement helpful strategies for dealing with these emotions, others find themselves struggling to cope.
Sometimes, teens feel their emotions at such a high intensity that these emotions can make them feel like they are “on fire.” Rather than using healthy strategies to face these emotions, they do everything in their power to “put the fire out.”
In an attempt to stop feeling these emotions so strongly, many teens have a tendency to engage in impulsive and harmful behaviors through emotion dysregulation.
Emotion dysregulation
When teens struggle to manage and regulate their emotions it can influence every area of their lives, from the way they connect with others to their behavior and decision making.
Here are a few ways through which emotion dysregulation is often manifested in teenagers:
Behavior dysregulation
Sometimes teens will participate in harmful behaviors as a way to escape from or numb their feelings:
Suicide
Reckless driving
Self-harm
Drinking
Drug use
Fighting
Risky sexual encounters
Whether it is because these behaviors provide temporary pleasure or they serve as distractions from the real problems that a teenager is experiencing, engaging in risky behaviors is a common response from teenagers who find it difficult to regulate their emotions.
Relationship dysregulation
Oftentimes, emotion dysregulation will influence teenagers and the relationships they have with other people. This can be seen in many ways:
Pushing people away out of fear of abandonment
Picking fights and starting arguments
Avoiding family and friends
Lying to others
Hiding from others out of shame and guilt
Aggression
These behaviors are especially problematic because they cause teens to push away or avoid the very people, like their parents, who can offer them the emotional support, unconditional positive regard, and validation they need to work through some of their complicated or sensitive emotions.
Emotion vulnerabilities and dysregulation
Sometimes emotion dysregulation can trigger emotion vulnerabilities and further emotion dysregulation. This occurs when teens feel strong emotions about their inability to handle their emotions in a healthy way.
In this way, they might experience a wide variety of emotions:
Guilt
Shame
Fear
Doubt
Alienation
Self-loathing
Anger
Disappointment
When teenagers start to feel any of these emotions regarding their own emotional dysregulation it will only make it more difficult for them to process their feelings and make positive change.
Cognitive dysregulation
Emotion dysregulation can also influence and shape thought patterns. Teenagers who struggle with emotion dysregulation might struggle with cognitive dysregulation as well:
Self-judgment
Judging others harshly
Difficulty problem-solving
Negative thought problems
Difficulty thinking and concentrating
Experiencing intrusive thoughts
This type of cognitive dysregulation will have a negative effect on a teen’s ability to process and manage their emotions, and it will make it difficult for them to learn how to accept the situations and emotions they are facing and move forward.
Self dysregulation
Another area that is typically influenced by a teenager’s ability to regulate their emotions is their relationship with their “self.”
Emotion dysregulation can lead to self dysregulation, which is shown through:
Low self-esteem
Feelings of emptiness, guilt, shame, and/or unworthiness
Self-loathing and self-harm
Depression
When teens feel overwhelmed by overbearing emotions, it can be hard for them to face these emotions head-on and handle them appropriately. This emotion dysregulation leads to a host of other problems that often exacerbate the issue and cause further harm.
Fortunately, there is a solution to this problem that can help teenagers who put out emotional fires with impulsive behaviors: Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)
How DBT can help
If your teen is having a tough time regulating their emotions and is exhibiting any of the behaviors and thought patterns mentioned above, DBT can help.
DBT was designed to help those with a tendency to feel their emotions strongly and react impulsively in return. Through DBT, teens can learn to cope with stressful situations, regulate their emotions, improve their relationships, and stop themselves from engaging in self-destructive behaviors.
As your teen learns to accept various situations they face in life and make positive changes to their thought patterns and behaviors, you will begin to notice less impulsive behavior and more emotional regulation.