The COVID-19 pandemic has taken a toll on teenagers across the country. Many have had to miss out on activities, celebrations, and special occasions that they looked forward to for years.
Attending prom and other school dances and events, playing organized sports, participating in family traditions and gatherings, and making memories with friends and family have been a challenge for many teenagers. The need to practice social distancing, follow stay-at-home orders, and make other adjustments to stay safe during the pandemic have caused teenagers to make sacrifices that have had lasting effects.
While these sacrifices are necessary, and staying safe during the COVID-19 pandemic is essential, it is crucial for parents to understand and validate their teens' feelings of grief from missing out on opportunities that were important to them and frustration that nearly two years later life has not fully returned to normal.
Even now that things are slowly starting to return to a sense of normalcy, with students able to attend school in person and many organizations receiving permission to host events again, there is still so much that is different for teenagers.
Many are wrestling with increased fear and anxiety due to the pandemic, Others are struggling to pull up their GPAs after a long year of online classes with less academic support than usual. Some are struggling with skepticism and nihilism after spending months watching politicians debate how to handle the pandemic. Others are grieving the loss of loved ones who have passed away during the pandemic.
Regardless of what they are dealing with regarding the pandemic, one thing is true for almost all teenagers: the COVID-19 pandemic has shifted the concept of “normal” and has had significant effects that will influence their emotional, mental, and/or physical health.
One of the best things that you can do as a parent right now is to understand the changes that have happened during the pandemic and how they have affected your teen. While not being able to attend prom or having a virtual ceremony to honor an accomplishment might not seem like a major deal in the grand scheme of things, these losses matter to your teen.
Here are a few ways for you to support your teen as they navigate our new normal and the complicated feelings they are experiencing because of COVID-19:
Validate your teen’s feelings
Whatever emotions your teen is feeling are valid, whether these emotions are big or small.
The past couple of years have been hard on everyone, especially teenagers who typically struggle with big emotions and lack the power to control a lot of the circumstances they face in life.
If your teen tells you that they are experiencing grief, anger, disappointment, fear, anxiety, sadness, or depression, make sure you listen to these feelings, acknowledge them, and validate them.
Remember, validation does not mean that you have to agree with these feelings, but rather that you understand why your teen may be experiencing these feelings.
If your teen comes to you and says, “I hate my school for keeping us from eating lunch with our friends this year,” you can validate your teen’s feelings by saying something like, “I’m sorry you aren’t able to eat with your friends. It must be frustrating to have to be away from them during your only free time during the school day.”
Your validation doesn’t mean that you also hate the school or that you think a social distancing policy is wrong, but it lets your teen know that you hear them and understand why they might be upset.
Offering validation is a powerful tool for you to use to connect with your teen, offer support, and let them know they are not alone.
Encourage them to practice self-care
With all the challenges that your teen has gone through since the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic, they may forget to take time out for themselves.
If your teen is experiencing higher levels of anxiety or stress than usual due to the pandemic, help them set aside some time to practice self-care.
Teach them the benefits of spending time journaling, getting exercise, deep breathing, or taking a break to engage in their favorite activities, and encourage them to take a few minutes each day to unwind and reset.
Be patient and understanding
Maybe your teen has the opposite problem, and they have been taking too much time for themselves. Maybe instead of working on homework or handling their responsibilities, your teen has spent all of their time watching television, playing video games, or doing other activities that get in the way of their goals.
While it might be tempting to get upset with them for their lack of motivation and responsibility, it is important to consider just how taxing and hard the pandemic has been on your teen.
Approach the problem with patience and understanding, knowing that your teen might not be lazy, but they might be too sad, depressed, or skeptical to find the point in focusing on school or work.
When you are able to show empathy and have open conversations with your teen that are free from anger, bitterness, and resentment, it can help the two of you work toward resolving these problems in a healthy way.