When you have a teen who is experiencing mental health challenges, it requires a lot of your time, energy, and effort to make sure they are receiving the support and treatment they need.
While working to provide your teen with the tools they need to improve their mental health is important, unfortunately, doing so can cause their siblings to become an afterthought. When you’re trying to help your teen who is exhibiting problem behaviors or putting their health at risk, it can be easy for you to spend so much time focusing on your teen that you are not as aware of the struggles their siblings are facing.
However, it is important to recognize that mental health challenges often affect the entire home environment. When your teen wrestles with problem behaviors, it can cause their siblings to feel stressed, confused, angry, upset, or isolated among other big emotions.
If your teen’s siblings witness outbursts of anger, it can make them feel afraid. If they know your teen is engaging in self-harming behaviors, it can cause them to feel grief, sadness, or fear. If they don’t know what mood to expect from your teen, it can leave them walking on eggshells and feeling anxious in their own home. If they feel like they have to keep secrets to protect your teen, it can make them feel isolated or guilty.
While caring for a teen with mental health challenges is time-consuming, it is critical for you to make time to check in with your other children and make sure they aren’t feeling distressed. Your children may feel angry because your teen is disrupting “normal” family life or because you are spending all of your time helping your teen. They may feel guilty because they feel responsible for helping your teen improve their mental health. They may feel fear that at any moment they might lose their siblings.
Recognizing, acknowledging, and supporting your children as they navigate these feelings can make a huge difference in their lives.
Here are a few ways to help support your entire family when you have a teen who is struggling with their mental health:
Have open conversations
Sometimes siblings feel like it is taboo to talk about the different things they are witnessing at home. Let them know that they have a safe space to talk, share their feelings, and ask questions by encouraging open conversations.
For example, if your teen has to be hospitalized, ask their siblings questions like, “Do you have any questions about what’s going on with your brother right now?” or “How did you feel this morning when you found out we had to take your sister to the hospital?”
When you start these conversations and listen without judgment to their responses, siblings will feel more comfortable and safe.
Provide age-appropriate explanations
It can be difficult for siblings to cope with their home life if they have no clue what is going on. Provide age-appropriate explanations so that these siblings can understand what your teen is going through.
For instance, if your teen is engaging in self-harming behaviors, constantly cries, or frequently mentions hating life or attempting suicide, explain to their siblings the definition of depression and how it manifests itself in teenagers. When your other children know the signs of depression, they won’t feel at a complete loss when they see their sibling struggling.
Encourage sibling bonding
If your teen’s siblings only have a negative picture of them and their behavior, it can lead to feelings of hatred and resentment.
Try to provide a balance by creating opportunities for all of your children to spend time with one another. This could mean sending them to the store together to grab ice cream for the family, starting a family game night, or some other activity where they are all able to make positive memories to share.
Spend one-on-one time together
It can be easy for jealousy and resentment to build when children see their parents devote all of their time and energy to just one of their children. Although it is important for you to support your teen as they struggle with their mental health, it is equally important for you to give attention to your other children.
Try carving aside time each week for you to spend with each of your children one-on-one. This way, no one feels neglected and you are able to check in with each sibling individually.