While the holidays can be a time of cheer, joy, and comfort, it can also be a major source of stress for teenagers.
This holiday season, try to support your teen by recognizing common holiday stressors, validating your teen’s emotions, and giving them tools to stay skillful during these hard times.
Holiday stressors
There are many reasons why holidays can be more painful than fun for teens:
Food-centered events
Because family meals are a major part of many holidays, it can be difficult for teens who are struggling with eating disorders.
Thanksgiving is centered around eating a giant meal, which can make your teen uncomfortable if their relatives notice them eating too much or too little. Holidays like Christmas and Hanukkah also have food-related traditions that your teen might struggle to participate in as they navigate their eating habits.
Visits from extended families
Oftentimes, teens also have to spend time around extended family during the holidays, which can be challenging if these family members are known to say or do things that trigger their anxiety or insecurities.
If your teen has to share a room with cousins or give up their room for another relative, it can also make them feel stressed about a lack of privacy or personal space.
Because your teen may not see their extended family very often, it can also be hard for them to address questions regarding their weight, eating habits, self-harm scars, or other situations that they would prefer to be kept private.
Travel
Many families also travel during the holidays. This can be tough for teens who have to be away from their friends, cancel therapy appointments, and deal with the anxiety of being in a new environment.
Being in a new place might make it harder for your teen to get a good night’s rest, which can exacerbate some of their struggles during the holiday season.
Holiday depression
Sometimes the holiday season is not so merry for teens. Teens who have lost parents, siblings, or other relatives may have a hard time coping during a time that is so focused on families being together.
Teens may also feel sad because they aren’t able to have a holiday experience that meets their expectations or the expectations of those around them. If they are not able to afford the perfect gifts for their friends, they might feel inadequate or like their friends will judge them. If their parents or guardians can’t afford to buy them nice gifts, they might feel sad when they see their friends post amazing photos of gifts on social media.
Ultimately, there are no shortage of reasons why your teen might feel down or experience hardships during the holiday season.
However, you can help your teen navigate this tough time by giving them tips on how to cope during the holidays.
Staying skillful during the holidays
Here are a few coping skills you can help your teen practice this holiday season:
Acknowledge your feelings
When your teen is already feeling upset, it can make their situation so much worse if they feel like they have to pretend to be happy.
Remind them of the importance of acknowledging and validating their feelings, even if they aren’t the cheery feelings that many other people experience during the holidays.
By doing this, they will be beter able to put coping skills into practice and reach out for help if needed.
Do esteemable acts
It can be easy for teens to wallow in their feelings of sadness, loneliness, and depression during the holidays.
When teens allow these feelings to overtake them, it can be hard for them to move forward or feel good about themselves.
Encourage them to be of service to others and do esteemable acts during this season. Serving at a soup kitchen, volunteering to read holiday stories to children, or helping shovel snow for elderly neighbors can be uplifting activities that remind your teen that there is more to life than their immediate feelings.
Set reasonable expectations
In the week leading up to Christmas, your teen might feel like they may be able to clean their room for company, buy great gifts for everyone, volunteer in their community, decorate the house, bake dozens of cookies, go ice skating, and help pick out the perfect tree, but they simply might not have enough time to do all of these activities.
When teens put too much on their plate, it can lead to anxiety and stress, especially if they aren’t able to meet their expectations.
Remind your teen that everything does not have to go perfectly and that they should set appropriate expectations to avoid adding extra stress to their lives.
Connect with others
When the holiday season gets stressful, many teens may be tempted to isolate themselves from other people.
Encourage them to connect with others so they can have support during these tough times.
This could mean joining a support group, carving out time to spend with friends, or video chatting with friends back home while they travel.
Complete activities that aren’t food-related
Remind your teen that there are many activities they can do that do not involve focusing on food during the holidays.
Instead of spending the day making gingerbread cookies, try going ice skating as a family. Instead of spending all of Thanksgiving talking about how delicious the turkey is going to be, talk about what you are grateful for in life. This can make it easier for your teen to handle the holidays if they have an eating disorder.
The holiday season doesn’t have to be miserable. Teach your teen these coping strategies to help them minimize stress during this time.