Change is hard! If you’ve ever had to take on a new job or move to a new home, you know just how difficult and stressful change can be.
If change is stressful for you, imagine how challenging it is for teenagers, who have less control over their lives and have to deal with changes that are happening physically, mentally, and emotionally on top of the external changes they have to face.
As your teen tackles transitional times in their life, it is critical that you provide them with the resources and support they need to manage these big changes.
Here are a few strategies you can use to help your teen cope with change:
Prepare them for change
Change is inevitable. Whether your teen likes it or not, they are going to experience change at some point or another in their life.
You can help them prepare for these changes by helping them develop resilience.
This can look like allowing them to have more autonomy when they make decisions so that they learn to make healthy choices and adapt to the outcome of these choices.
It can look like taking a step back instead of immediately trying to solve problems for your teen. This way, they can learn how to handle tough situations and develop the resilience and grit they need to handle the different challenges that might come their way in life.
Helping your teen prepare for change could also mean providing them with safe opportunities to experience change. This could be as simple as switching up the restaurant your family typically goes to on the weekends, encouraging them to try a new extracurricular activity, or making a small change to their routine.
When your teen is prepared for change, they won’t be caught off guard and forced to adapt to changes with a limited skill set.
Talk about the changes they are experiencing
When your teen goes through a major change, they are going to have complicated (and sometimes conflicting) emotions.
Some teens might feel angry that they have to deal with a situation that is outside of their control. Others might feel sad or experience grief at the prospect of losing something familiar like their home, school, friends, or job. Many teens might feel anxious and nervous about having to try something new.
Regardless of how your teen is feeling about the transitions they have to make, it will be important for them to have the space to talk to you about what they are feeling.
By having honest conversations with your teen about the changes they are experiencing, you are giving them the opportunity to have their feelings heard and validated. This will let them know that change is normal and they are not alone.
Help them practice acceptance
While they do not have to like every change that they face in life, your teen will have to learn how to cope with these changes, especially the ones that are unavoidable.
As a parent, you can help your teen learn to manage their feelings surrounding big changes by helping them learn to accept that certain situations are outside of their control.
For instance, your teen can’t control whether or not their school transitions to e-learning due to the pandemic, so they will have to learn how to make the most of this situation and keep it from destroying their work ethic and academic performance.
Your teen has no control over losing loved ones. If a friend or family member passes away, your teen will have to acknowledge their grief and pain and know that they will have to keep pressing on even though it is hard.
When your teen is able to accept that there are some changes they cannot control, it will help them be able to focus on the things they can control in their lives, like their own actions.
Your teen may not have any control over their best friend deciding not to speak with them anymore, but they can control how they treat that friend moving forward and whether or not they are going to reach out to others and make new friends.
Your teen may not have any control over the fact that your family has to move to a new city, but they can choose to have a positive mindset, work toward making new friends, and continue to treat you and their siblings with respect in spite of their frustrations.
Help your teen learn to accept what they cannot control and to make the most of what they can control.