From working to attending school to shopping in the grocery store, the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic has caused a lot to look differently this year. In addition to coping with tough changes like going to school online or having to watch football games via livestream instead of in-person, many teens are also going to have to miss out on traditional prom and graduation this year.
Finding out that two major events they’ve looked forward to for years won’t look the way they always hoped and dreamed can be crushing for your teen.
After working for twelve years to earn a diploma, they have to have a virtual ceremony or a small in-person ceremony with limited tickets for family members and loved ones. Instead of being surrounded by the people they care about most including grandparents, stepparents, and mentors, they might only have enough room to bring one or two parents or they might need to have a small virtual viewing party with their immediate family only.
Instead of having the night of their dreams filled with music, dancing, limos, and great food, your teen might have to have a small, private prom event with only a couple close friends, or they might have to forgo prom altogether.
Reasonably, missing out on these events is devastating for teens, and it can provoke feelings of loss.
If your teen is having a hard time coping with these hard changes, there are a few things you can do as a parent to help:
Show empathy
Sure, there are more important factors in life than a single school dance. We all know that with all the problems the world is facing and all of the opportunities the future holds, prom night is not the end all be all event of your teen’s lifetime.
However, a loss is a loss, regardless of its size or significance in the grand scheme of things. Even though there may be people who have lost “more” during the pandemic, it is important for you to empathize with your teen and acknowledge the pain that they are facing from losing the opportunity to have a normal graduation and prom experience.
Avoid downplaying or belittling their emotions, and try to think about how you would feel if you were in their situation.
Validate your teen’s feelings
In the same vein, make sure to let your teen know that any feelings they experience based on these losses are valid.
Saying something as simple as, “I know how much you were looking forward to going to prom this year, I know it has to be upsetting that you won’t be able to go this year” can make a huge difference when it comes to relating to your teen during this time.
Let your teen know that you are listening to their feelings, you understand how they feel, and you believe that their feelings are justified.
Provide opportunities for your teen to practice self-care
Your teen is probably feeling a whirlwind of rough emotions this year. Missing the chance to have a conventional prom and graduation might cause them to feel lonely, shorted, disappointed, angry, and sad.
Encourage your teen to cope with these feelings by practicing self-care. Whether this means going for a jog, grabbing an ice cream cone, journaling, or spending the day watching Netflix, remind your teen that it is okay to take time for themselves to do something they enjoy, especially when they are having a hard time.
Encourage your teen to connect with others
The best part about prom and graduation is not putting on a cap and gown, waiting for your name to be called, or hearing a dj play your favorite song. The highlights of these evenings are not wearing a boutonniere or shaking the principal’s hand.
No, these events are memorable because they allow teens to have a great time with the people that matter most to them.
It’s the nervous chatter as they do their hair and make up before prom. It’s taking pictures in their graduation gowns with their caps tossed in the air. It’s laughing as their date does a funny move on the dance floor. These are the types of moments your teen will miss.
While your teen might not be able to have these exact experiences this year, they can still feel the same joy by taking time to connect with others. A virtual graduation open-house with friends or a small, socially-distanced backyard prom can help them combat the loneliness and disappointment of missing out on traditional prom and graduation.
If your teen is struggling to cope with missing these major events this spring, encourage them to stay connected with their friends by planning safe, alternative events they can enjoy in addition to whatever events their schools are holding.