When people go through a traumatic event, it can completely change their lives. As they process the shock and pain of different events, it can cause people to completely shift their behavior, their reaction to others, and their outlook on the world.
No two people are the same. While some people might seem to recover quickly or to start to feel better within a couple of months after a traumatic situation, others can take several months or even years before they even start to recover. Some people might not have any strong reactions to their trauma, but others might have more severe reactions that influence their lives and the lives of those around them.
This is also true for teens who experience trauma. When teens go through traumatic events, some of them will react by engaging in inappropriate or problematic behaviors or with outbursts of anger while others will react by isolating themselves and allowing shame or fear to shape their actions and decisions.
If your teen has experienced trauma, you might notice them doing any or all of the following:
Feeling strong negative emotions
The most common reaction that teen trauma is persistently feeling strong negative emotions. Your teen might feel like they are in a constant state of feeling afraid, anxious, or angry. Even years after experiencing a traumatic event, it is also possible for different situations to remind them of their past trauma, trigger them, and cause them to feel negative emotions they thought they had overcome.
If your teen always seems to be feeling negative emotions, or they experience negative emotions seemingly out of the blue, this could be a sign that they are reacting to trauma.
Remembering and re-experiencing their trauma
Oftentimes teenagers relive or re-experience their trauma through nightmares or flashbacks. You might notice that your teenager has trouble sleeping through the night or that they try to stay up late and avoid going to sleep. You also might notice your teen feeling increasingly anxious or afraid when they have to spend time on their own or when it gets late.
Even when your teen has made great strides toward addressing a traumatic event, flashbacks and other reminders of the event can cause pain or fear.
Showing an increased stress response
When teens go through trauma, it can influence their sympathetic nervous system. Instead of giving the body a burst of adrenaline in the face of danger, teens might experience a heightened stress response and move into “fight or flight” mode even when they are completely safe.
While the fight or flight response is incredibly helpful when teens are actually in a dangerous or life-threatening situation, constantly experiencing this stress is overwhelming for the body, and it can take a toll on your teen’s mental and physical health.
If your teen always seems on edge, defensive, or ready to protect themselves from an unperceived threat, it is a sign that they are working through a traumatic event.
Practicing avoidance
Another common reaction to teen trauma is avoidance. Teens might try to avoid people and situations that remind them of the trauma they experience, or they might try to avoid unrelated situations out of fear that they will be hurt again.
This can lead to isolation, feelings of numbness, and increased anxiety in teenagers, and it can rob them of doing activities or forming relationships that would bring them happiness and enjoyment.
While you may want your teen to avoid avoidance behaviors, this is a natural reaction to undergoing a traumatic situation.
Expressing negative emotions
In addition to feeling negative emotions, your teen might also express negative feelings toward those around them. This is especially true if your teen has a habit of bottling up their emotions.
You might notice that your teen is frequently irritable, or they might have angry outbursts. Your teen might start getting into fights at school or arguments with their siblings, their friends, and you.
The outward expression of anger, bitterness, or frustration is a way that some teens try to process and cope with traumatic events.
Feeling shame
Many teens blame themselves for the traumatic events that happen to them. They get stuck in a spiral of thinking that if only they had acted differently or if only they were different themselves, then the traumatic event wouldn’t have happened.
When teens blame themselves, especially for events outside of their control, it can cause them to feel worthless and ashamed of themselves.
If your teen reacts to trauma in this way, you might notice many of these verbal, visual, or paralinguistic cues.
Feeling jaded with the world
When your teenager experiences abuse, it can cause them to have a negative outlook on the world and other people.
They might start feeling like they can’t trust anyone or like no one truly cares about them, which might hurt their relationships or cause them to lash out at others. These cynical feelings can weigh down on your teen and prevent them from living their life to the fullest or making meaningful connections with others.
You might also notice that your teen feels like it is not worth it to try anything new or to pursue activities that once interested them. You might see that they have started to eat or sleep too much or too little. Trauma often leads to feelings of depression, and they might even begin to feel like their life is not worth living anymore.
If your teen seems like they have started to give up on life, hope, or happiness, this could be a result of experiencing trauma.
Engaging in problem behaviors
In order to try to cope with the negative feelings they are experiencing or with reliving their trauma, many teens will turn to different problem behaviors like drinking, drug use, or risky sexual behavior.
These behaviors are not only dangerous, but they can also exacerbate the negative feelings that your teen is trying to avoid.
If you notice your teen is experiencing any of these reactions to their trauma, it’s important to know that this is normal, and neither you nor your teen is alone.
Supporting your teen
Here are a few ways that you can help support your teen as they process their trauma:
Teach your teen healthy coping skills and breathing exercises
Practice active listening
Encourage your teen to journal, create art, or otherwise express their feelings
Try to understand and validate their feelings and experiences
Be patient with your teen, even when they don’t seem to be making progress
Establish a routine that will reduce anxiety and make sure your teen feels safe
Learn to recognize signs of shame, depression, and anxiety so that you can help your teen cope
Don’t be afraid to seek professional help when necessary
Provide unconditional positive regard to help lessen any feelings of shame
Above all else, when your teen experiences trauma, it will be important for them to feel like you are there to offer support and stay in their corner. Make sure you are there for them and that you remain understanding when they react to their traumatic experiences in any of these different ways.