Many people have a fear of the unknown.
They might be afraid of the dark because they can’t see what may or may not be present. They might be afraid of the future because they don’t know what situations will come their way. They might be afraid of getting on an airplane for the first time or trying some other new experience because they can’t predict the outcome, and they don’t know what to expect.
This fear of the unknown is also why some people are hesitant to try therapy. While they may recognize that they could benefit from some professional help, they can be paralyzed by a perceived “threat” of the unexpected and unknown.
What if I have to talk about my greatest mistakes or shame on the first day of therapy? I’m not ready for that!
What if the therapist judges me for what I say? I don’t know how to expect them to respond.
What if I do it all wrong? I don’t know whether I’m supposed to sit or lie down. I don’t know where I’m supposed to begin sharing.
What if the whole therapy process is uncomfortable. I don’t have a clue what they’re going to ask me to say or do. Are they going to ask me about my childhood, or is that just something that I see on television?
When these questions, doubts, and fears build, it can make it difficult or even downright impossible to go into a therapy session with an open mind and a sense of calm.
This can even be the case when you’re not the one who is going to therapy. Many parents worry about sending their teens to therapy because they don’t know what to expect.
Will my teen feel uncomfortable talking to someone who is practically a stranger?
Will therapy even work? When should I expect to see positive changes?
Will I have to participate at all? Should I remove myself as far from their therapeutic process as possible so that I don’t get in the way?
It’s understandable that you or your teen might be worried or anxious about what comes next after reaching out to start therapy.
When you’re new to therapy, you will likely have a lot of questions and concerns. To help you address these concerns, here are a few things you should expect that will help shed light on some of the “mystery” of what happens in therapy:
An intake session
Before your teen’s therapist comes close to getting into the nitty-gritty with your teen, there will be a primary session between your teen and their therapist called an intake session.
During this session, your teen’s therapist will go over the basics of the therapy process and clarify any questions your teen may have. Your teen’s therapist will explain what a typical session will look like, rules surrounding confidentiality, any policies for the therapy center, scheduling information and logistics, and session times.
This information will help your teen feel more comfortable because it will let them know what they can expect moving forward.
Establishing rapport
Many teens are hesitant to go to therapy because they are afraid they will be forced to divulge their deepest darkest secrets, pain, and insecurities to a complete stranger. This is not quite how therapy works, so don’t feel like you are throwing your teen to the wolves when you help them start therapy.
For one, your teen’s therapist will be able to navigate their comfort (or lack thereof) with the therapeutic process and will help them ease into this new part of their life. Your teen won’t have to share the most vulnerable parts of themselves on day one, and their therapist will make sure that they spend a lot of time building rapport so that your teen feels that their therapist is someone they can trust.
Parent engagement
There is a common misconception that when parents take their teens to therapy, they simply drop their teens off and pick them up without any communication or involvement in the therapeutic process.
However, it is important for you to realize that this is not the case. Your role is going to be far more than that of a chauffeur. In fact, your engagement is not only encouraged, but it is also imperative to helping your teen find success with therapy.
Your teen’s therapist will talk to you about your role in the process so that you can help your teen make the most of their therapy sessions.
Gradual progress
While therapy has made a tremendous difference in the lives of countless teens, it is not a miracle cure for all of your teen’s problem behaviors. You should not expect your teen to make a complete 180 after 1 or 2 sessions.
Therapists cannot snap their fingers and make your teen get good grades, avoid acting out in anger, and overcome their anxiety. It will take time. Don’t feel dismayed when it takes a few sessions for your teen to start making progress. Remember, therapy is a process!
When you keep these expectations in mind, it will help make the idea of therapy seem less daunting for you and your teen.