Sometimes, when your teen is experiencing intense emotions, these feelings can take control and prevent your teen from acting rationally or listening to reason. It can be very scary to navigate through this as a parent, especially when you are feeling overwhelmed or emotional yourself.
Fortunately, if your teen’s emotions have taken hold to the extent that they aren’t able to process information or have any semblance of control, there are steps you can take to trigger physiological responses and reduce their emotional arousal. By utilizing TIPP or temperature, intense exercise, paced breathing, and progressive muscle relaxation, you can help teens manage their extreme emotions.
Here are the steps you should take in order to use TIPP to help calm your teen’s emotions:
Temperature
Exposure to colder temperatures will cause your teen’s brain to focus on something other than their emotional state.
Have your teen hold their breath and put their face into a bowl of cold water, have them splash cold water on their face, or have them hold an ice pack to their cheeks for around 30 seconds. Be careful that the water is not too cold! You will want to make sure that the water is at least 50℉ if they are going to place their face into a bowl of cold water.
This cold water will slow your teen’s heart rate and allow them to calm down and focus.
Intense exercise
In hundreds of movies, characters will go for a run, punch a punching bag at a boxing gym, or go work out in order to blow off steam when they’re angry. Even though this is a movie trope, it can still be helpful for your teen.
Intense exercise can expend your teen’s pent up energy and allow them to unwind and calm down. When your teen lets their emotions take the driver’s seat, encourage them to engage in 10-15 minutes of intense activity. Whether they go for a run, jump rope, lift weights, or shoot hoops outside, any intense aerobic activity will help them release their energy so they can get a better hold on their emotions.
Paced breathing
Helping your teen slow down their breathing is another way to keep them calm and prevent their big feelings and emotions from continuing to take over.
Although this might seem like a simple or insignificant way for teens to manage their emotions, it can make a huge difference. In fact, paced breathing is used in military training programs to help recruits learn how to stay relaxed and focused in the midst of a crisis. If your teen’s big emotions are taking over, paced breathing will help.
Here are some tips for effective paced breathing:
Take it slow. Breathing rapidly will only make things worse, and it can even lead to hyperventilation. You will want to have your teen slow their breathing down until they are only taking about five to seven in and out breaths each minute.
Breathe deeply. Avoid shallow breathing. Tell your teen to take deep breaths from the abdomen. If your teen is having trouble feeling their body breathing, encourage them to lightly rest a hand on their stomach or on their chest as they breathe.
Breathe out slowly. Your teen should breathe out more slowly than they breathe in. For instance, if they breathe in for four seconds, they should breathe out for six.
Practicing paced breathing for a few minutes will go a long way toward helping your teen regulate their emotions.
Progressive muscle relaxation
The final step of the TIPP method is progressive muscle relaxation. Have your teen start from the top of their head and slowly tense and relax each muscle group, one at a time, until they get to the tips of their toes.
When they tense their muscles, they should hold for about five seconds. Then they need to release the tension slowly until the muscle they were tensing is fully relaxed.
Ask them to pay attention to the change in their body so that they notice how their body feels when their muscles are tensed and how their body feels when their muscles are relaxed.
This exercise will redirect their focus and also help them to feel a sense of release, which will lower their heart rate and decrease the intensity of their emotions.
While there will certainly be more occasions where your teen’s emotions will completely control their brain, using this TIPP skill to change their temperature, encourage exercise, regulate breathing, and release muscle tension will help them better handle these emotions.
After following these steps, your teen will be equipped to shift from their “emotional mind” to one where they are willing and able to think critically, process their emotions healthily, and listen to reason.