Teens who identify as LGBTQ are at a greater risk for experiencing anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation than cis-gender teens who identify as straight.
This is not because belonging to one of these groups inherently causes teens to have these negative experiences, but rather because these teens often feel pain, shame, and isolation when they aren’t accepted or treated well by others due to their sexual orientation.
When teens do not feel like they are able to receive support from their families, it can be emotionally damaging and mentally devastating. Now more than ever, it is important for parents of LGBTQ teens to show unwavering and unconditional acceptance and support toward their children.
Unfortunately, showing complete acceptance is not always easy for some families. Some people have deeply ingrained, culturally-influenced expectations and beliefs that are hard for them to shake. As a result, you may find that you have relatives that aren’t as supportive or accepting as they should be, which can be difficult for your teen.
If you find that you or other members of your family have a hard time showing full acceptance of your LGBTQ teen, don’t give up. Narrative therapy can help!
What is narrative therapy?
Narrative therapy is a form of therapy that helps clients analyze and deconstruct their thought patterns and behaviors so that they can write a new, more beneficial story about themselves.
All too often, we believe stories about ourselves based on past experiences or beliefs. For instance, you might tell yourself “I am unlovable” after a series of failed relationships or “I am a nervous wreck” after a particularly rough bout of anxiety.
But we are more than these stories. We are more than our mistakes. We are more than the problems that we face.
Through narrative therapy, clients learn to separate these problematic stories from their true identities. This way, they can learn to acknowledge and recognize who they really are instead of just labeling themselves by the mistakes or problems of their past.
How can narrative therapy help families of LGBTQ teens?
Narrative therapy can help families who have told themselves problematic stories about the LGBTQ community learn to deconstruct and move away from these beliefs in favor of acceptance and embracing their teens’ identities and sexual orientations.
There are a few key steps in this process:
Externalization
During this step, clients are encouraged to examine their beliefs and the stories they tell themselves so they can begin to separate these stories from their identities.
Instead of being a person who cannot separate themselves from the ideas that being LGBTQ is a sin or inappropriate, they will be able to see that these beliefs don’t have to be who they are, and they can choose to let go of these beliefs as well as any other beliefs that no longer serve them.
Deconstruction
During this step, clients can break down the stories they have told themselves to see where these stories stem from and why these stories were believed in the first place.
For instance, someone who once labeled themselves as a failure can discover that this label came from missing out on a promotion, meaning it is an exaggeration of one unfortunate circumstance and not a part of their identity or a label they need to carry with them forever.
Similarly, families of LGBTQ teens can recognize that certain thought patterns and beliefs are not a part of their identities. Chances are that family members that have trouble accepting their LGBTQ teens have been told or held on to ideas that they no longer need to believe. Narrative therapy will help them deconstruct these thoughts and beliefs so they aren’t getting in the way any longer.
Creation
Once these family members have deconstructed previous beliefs and examined the roots of these old stories, they can recognize their true identity and start creating the stories they want to hold.
At their core, they might find that they are someone who loves their family. This means that they can let go of every story that contradicts this part of their identity, and they can embrace new stories that will help them adopt new attitudes and behaviors that are reflective of their true identity.
LGBTQ teens need all of the love and support their families have to offer. Narrative therapy can help make sure that the families of LGBTQ teens are able to give them the acceptance they need to thrive.