Is it time to take a break?
Here are some questions to ask yourself to recognize whether it's time to stop, take a breath and step away from the situation or whether you're actually able to attend to a situation in the moment.
How does your body feel?
Do a quick scan. What do you notice? If you have intense body sensations like tight muscles, or a racing heart, it's a good sign that it's time to step away from the situation until you're more calm and balanced and able to attend to it.
What are your thoughts like?
What's going through your head? If you're having negative thoughts, if you're saying “shoulds” to yourself, if you're blaming other people, or you’re over-focused on your worries, it's time to take a break and step away from the situation.
What kinds of urges am I having?
Do you want to slam doors? Do you want to run away? Are you having urges to hurt yourself? Are you having urges to attack or be aggressive towards other people? If this is the case, then it's time to step back, take a break, and focus on another activity until your eight to 10 on your emotion scale as down to a five or a six.
How are you communicating?
Are you angry? Are you being aggressive? Are you ignoring or giving the silent treatment? These are signs that you're not ready to problem solve and that you're not ready to have a conversation with people around you.
In fact, it's time to take a break until you're more balanced and you're more calm, so that you can have a conversation that works for you and for the person that you're speaking with and you can both walk away feeling like you accomplished something.