There are times in our lives when we may find ourselves saying things like,
He's so annoying.
She's just a jerk.
They are just the worst.
Everybody judges! It's such a normal and human behavior. The goal is to not stop judging but to notice the judgments that arise and not take them as facts in the situation and so often this can be as simple as saying, “I'm noticing myself having a judgment about this person” or “I'm noticing a thought come up that I don't like this certain situation”.
The goal is really to acknowledge your preferences, your wishes and your reactions.
I feel uncomfortable.
I feel angry.
I feel frustrated
… and to stop judging them as good or bad or judging others as good or bad.
What this does is it allows us to have compassion for ourselves, to have compassion for the people around us and to experience less stress and struggle.
Oftentimes in our groups and our sessions, this can become almost like a game, like putting a marble in the jar every time you notice a judgment or you notice yourself judging someone else.
That first step is always the awareness of the judgment and then separating the judgment from the fact. From there we can begin to build on that with our skills of self-compassion and our skills of kindness and caring for others.