Our beliefs influence our thoughts, words and actions, and then the way we interact with the world around us. The way your teen thinks then impacts their words and behavior too.
Watch the video below to learn how your beliefs about your teen are actually a part of the story in how they see and define themselves. You'll also learn how you can use this information to boost your teen's confidence and productivity.
Some examples of limiting or unhelpful beliefs include...
- I am unlovable
- I'm not good enough
- I am unwanted or uncared for
- I am helpless or powerless
- I am weak
- I am trapped
Here are 2 ways to help your teen break free of limiting beliefs:
Technique #1: Observe and Dismantle
Your thoughts, words and actions are always a reflection of what you believe. Pay close attention to what you think, say and do when you notice a difficult emotion start to arise. Ask yourself, "What's going through my head?" then flip the unhelpful or limiting belief into something more helpful or empowering.
For example: If you normally look at a pile of homework and say to yourself, "This is too much. I'll never get through it." Instead you might say, "OK, one thing at a time, I totally got this!"
Technique #2: Bulldoze and Liquefy
When you can explain and rationalize all the reasons that your belief is NOT true (even when it's hard) you begin to create evidence for a new truth. I encourage my teens to put pen to paper and write down all the evidence that a current belief is false.
For example: If you normally believe that no one likes you, write down all the evidence that you can find that others appreciate you, want you around, or are kind to you. Then, begin to make it a habit to find evidence of your new and empowering belief.
Remember to "Act as if!"
The super important follow-up to both of these exercises is to begin taking action and behaving in ways that reinforce that this new belief is true. Choose at least three new, healthy and empowering behaviors that will help you make lasting changes that match your new beliefs about yourself.